a sobering thought

could you imagin if all the beer and wine and cider, and all the spirits of the world, were to evaporate and disapear....what a sobering thought....

so hello, howdy, and get the fuck out, to another of these blogs, which give an amazing insight into the life and time of one of rthe world foremost comedians: bonny tyler

oh balls to that, i cba. you all ok people? bit of a crappy weekend, weather wise....shame....
poor victory for wales in the rugby on friday in front of 58,907 fans who braved the eliments to watch a scrappy game of schoolyard rugby between us and samoa. i was sat at the north stand, and (as sods law would dictate) all the action took place at the south stand.... ah well

also this week, wales took on scotland, in cardiff city's new stadium, to win 3-0 with all goals being scored in the first half..... really good win for our boys, but shame it was only a friendly.

finally, there's Wales's first 6-nations match in cardiff, on feb 13th..... anyone fancy going? i was thinking we could turn it into a massive 'lets go out and have a laugh' thing.... interest, come see me or someone who cares

question
is it me or is the churchill dog a pervert now?

thought
im gona 'chris brown' you, mother fucker (soz...)

heads-up
well done sarah for passin her test :) anyone who wants to go mcdonalds......... jokes
and im literally busy every day this week, if anyone needs me.


CIAO

making the oblivious, obvious

me and my monkey

firstly, is Xenon really Oxygen in disguise?

and secondly, how many countries secretly hate britain....but hate france more?

but before all that; if a kettle of water in the south pole was boiling at 37 degrees celcius, and there was a polar bear standing over it watching.....
1) how lost is the polar bear?
2) how the hell is is the kettle defying physics and boiling at 37 degrees?
3) what the hell are you talking about?

i feel as if im in a slightly odd mood today (oh no shit lewis...).... im just far too tired to congigate sentances properly, or form logical links between things....

which reminds me, what happend to 'Snoopy'?

anyways, unfortunatly its a petit blog again.....but i WILL (promise) do a good one soon.... like tomorrow

CIAO

rememberance day: sunday 08/11/09

bit of a somber one sorry...

seems to me that people dont know what rememberance day is, or respect it much if they do...

now, before you say, 'oh its only coz you're a cadet'.... i went to every rememberance parade i could. this is because i felt it was important, even from a very early age, to remember those who died....actually died... for us to live the way we do today. if i could appreciate that when i was 5, why the hell cant people do it today in their teens?

does it so fail to hold our attention, that these people fell in combat and didnt get up, that we negate to see the importance at all and instead chose to do anything barr go to a cenotaph and spend 2 minutes in fucking silence.... just to say thanks....

if people genuinly believe in a god, then i couldnt think of any other way to say thanks than to get off your arse and actually see the memorial that represents them....an everlasting reminder of their sacrafice so that you can do what the fuck you like....

i truly consider it an honour and a privalige to be holding the banner of my squadron, standing to attention and saluting those who died from my squadron and the rest of the world, so i could be there, standing there..... able to remember them and what they did. i feel its the least i could do.

so can you imagine how much it grates me to hear, 'whats tha...?', when i ask the question, 'are you going to rememberance parade?'......

i cant really say it offends me, because im not military myself....but ive got friends in the army and air force, and i know people who've died in Iraq and Afganistan..... so you can imagine how much it truly pisses me off and angers me to get the response;

'i cba to go'....

i'll remember that when i think of my dead friends.

just sayin it like it is

hello darlings, no im not gay, im just excitable around sheep and tight spaces....

have you ever noticed that it's not just cheese that goes off and goes foul? some people do too....like there's this one person who really got to me today, but wasnt even linked to me....

someone, having been given a reasonably cool task by a member of staff, was relieved by someone, without being asked to....thus taking on this role which she wasnt asked to do.... this phrase 'fuck off and mind your own buisiness', leaps and bounds to the forefront of my mind...

saying that, if she wants to do my homework for me, she is MORE than welcome to attempt to do so....

so yeah....
its all good

difficult decissions have taken their toll on me, making me feel sluggish and desperatly bored....nah just kiddin, my life is great right now!

also, in a random twist, i propose we create a series of ironic video's, depicting oxymorons and complete crap: ie, americans are secretly smart.


anyways, im bushed....catch ya all another day
CRA

pointing out the obvious and oblivious

in a glaxy far far away, which some may call here, and in a time when bed is calling me from above, untill i get up to its level, whereupon it will be slighly below, i have come to the devistating conclusion that i should get my posterior in gear and partake in the writing of yet more drivle and dispare in a vague attempt at comedy and satire......

the reason for no punctuation is that i am a man attempting to break the world reading record and i feel that punctuation would act as speed bumps in the progression of this shear wonderous piece of crap that i doth beseach before me...... in other words, i cba...

so today i wish to speak of public servants in one form or another..... and concentrate upon lollipop ladies.

the humble lollipop lady (aka, 'traffic bitch'), is often found hanging around school areas when the kids are going in or out. her trademark is wearing yellow, and carrying a faux lollipop, which she uses to entice traffic to stop....

she actually uses it as an attractive looking staff, and shouts at the cars, 'i command you in the name of all that is holy, to either stop at the line or face a firy doom as i shoot you with a massive laser cannon hidden under my hi-vis..... touch these kids and i will touch you....'

so all in all, she is a world class paedofile....attracting small cars and infants to cross and stop by her for a period of time, only present when there is an abundance of children aged 3-15.... and she gets to dress in funky clothes..... my god... the traffic bitch has the best job in the world!

Thought for the day
if you or anyone you know IS a traffic bitch....im sorry... i just wanted you to know..

Question for the day
have you ever been temped to ask a lollipop lady to lick her lollipop?....

Heads-up for the day
school tomorrow.....that vile prison which becons us back into its cold embrace with no remorse or care for mortality, as we sink lower in our chairs, avoiding the teachers (old as the furniature).... only time will tell if it's worth it
but in the here and now, fuck em, and hava laff!

COMENT, RATE, APPRECIATE
XD

pointing out the obvious and oblivious

so, long story short....

....and that's when i found out lola wasn't a woman, 'puff the magic dragon' was subliminally about drugs, and the trusting man with the bike pole up my arse was actually a homosexual....

oh hey there, long time no see.... my god, you're all ugly...

ah well, plastic surgery cost a bomb so you are forgiven.. how the hell are you all?

i'll be honest...recently ive actually been busy and havnt had time to think about blogging. for this, a mortal sin, i shall probaby go to hell....but in the mean time i will maintain blogging about crap.

this in itself is just another lil' petit blog to tide the system over till i can manipulate my cells to conjure up some 'good shit' for you all to absorb like cocaine, leaving you feeling cold and desperate, yet exhilerated and buzzing for hours.... untill it runs out and you feel dirty and ashamed like that hooker i saw in cardiff one day.... my god, what a tramp. if anyone could think of a better use for Mr Muscle, it was on her face....

so basicly.... i'll start writing better blogs if you start cleaning the faces of inner-city prostitues with chemicals, originally designed for use on household surfaces.

thought for the day
im incredibly happy.... what about you?

question of the day
are there any cycle routes from caerphilly to pontyclun?

heads-up for the day
school next week.... erm... not much
tim.... whens ur party dude? people are saying different dates

catch ya l8rs
CRA

awkward anger

dear gawd

rawr....

you ever have that feeling where you've entered a situation you really shouldn't have.... wow, i've had that twice in one day.

the second time actually made me fairly confused and angry in a way, because i dont understand the reasons for awkwardness.... the first one being i'd met her nan for the first time and i shat a MA-hoo-SIVE brick..
the second was less obvious as to why it was awkward, but was only awkward from one perspective....this therefore confused me, and made me upset/angry....

fuck it, im talkin shit....again

but this is on my mind....has life moved on, or has it remained stagnant in some remote corner of existance? i certainly hope not....ffs like, im chuffed to bits with how things are right now....

kinda put a damper on a really awsome day....sods law

yours sincerly

mr bloody annoyed

Abertridwr,
Wales,
United Kingdom,
Earth.






ps....can you please bring back 'Fresh Prince..'?

a little bit like your mum...

relief or extacy?

dudes and dudettes, how are we all on this fine crisp evening? ive been out and about wearing me 'smarts' to get a certificate from one of my many ventures this summer.

tonight, i wish to take a rest....but ive gora do this so bugger it.
and thats the theme of this escapade on this day. the difference between relief and extacy:

(this of course is one mans view of said topics, so if you dont like it....tough. get your own interperitation, and therefore point of view, you lazy bastard....coming round here, knicking my terms and phrazes, calling them your own, you plagaristic sods.... you cant even SPELL like me... how much of a copy-cat can you be.....!)

...as i was saying...
the two words may seem to display the same format of joy and happiness, but they go about them in two different ways.... for example:

(relief) you find out she ISNT pregnant (suprise su-friggin-prise)
(extacy) you realise that BECAUSE she isnt pregnant, you get to keep your bollocks...

following? good.

im sure as eggs is eggs, that you can find your own examples, after this marathon lesson....an education, of the differences between the two. now im sure you'll all agree that ive done my work for the night, so you'll let me off any more examples...... if not, fack off.

TFTD
so what do you think constitues a 'good' sandwich filling?

QFTD
got any more examples of the differences? think of this as homework...

HUFTD
the evil monstrosity hath returned once again....or more correctly, we return to IT.... school tomorrow poble

CRA XD

unfortunatly, there's not much we can do for him....he's just far too lazy to give a shit.... we hid the remote, and he looked for it instead of just walking the 3 feet to change the channel manually....

an appology...of sorts

as you can probably tell, i am not the most dependable person in the world at the minute for writing blogs.... they have been few and far between, with some of them being very short and blunt. for this i appologise, but maintian the fact i have reasons for sparse blogging.....the top one of these:
wanking is SO much more fun....

so i suppose i should thank you all for returning to this travasty (that means 'transvestite' in french) of a blog, but im not going to, because secretly you all like the harsh abuse i give you by saying you're all arseholes....
not ALL of you are, but even if you're not, you enjoy it :P

ANYHOO....

today i wanted to talk to you very quickly about the differences between decades, with regards to music, in leymans terms.....

anything before the 1940's was very smooth and claming, because society deemed it so....

anything between 40's and 50's was smooth/swing..

anything 50's to 60's was when jazz, traditional pop, british blues, and british rock and roll, mixed with the early psycadelic stuff, took off....the british invasion had begun...

anything 60's and 70's was more of the same, with more direction to rock and roll, and then later, punk rock...also pop was still thriving, and some attention had been taken to reggae

anything 70's and 80's....teen pop....the god awfull sound of men with bad hair and synthesisers, appealing to the throbbing hearts of every horney school girl.... how they got rich i dont know, but it disgusts me..... oh and rock music went on to alternative rock to create some of the bands that we still know and love today like REM and U2.

anything 80's in general was that same genre, with america taking a lead on the shite singing, but britain still leading with the shite everything else...

anything 90's, appart from wanting to forget the whole decade, pop wise, was the rock genre of grunge.... rave, house and techno became popular in britain, while R'Nd'B and hip hop took off in america.

anything 00's, pretty much, rock remains popular, R'Nd'B arrives in the UK, dance music with electro-trance style mixes with rave, to bring that to fluition, pop recovers.....boy bands (saddly) dont die out completly... and asia gets in on the action, with pop from japan.



Thought for the Day
what do you think will be the 'Next Big Thing' in this country.....revival of old rock?

Question for the Day
which of the decades for music, do you think were the worst and why? personally, im going to say the 90's because there were so many 'one hit wonders' who we now look back on and think, 'my god, they are shocking...'

Heads-up for the Day
2 glorious mother-fucking days off, for those of us privaliged to be in st. Cenydd.....DO NOT GET UP TOMORROW, OR ELSE YOU ARE A DOUCHEBAG (unless you have something to do, in which case, all is forgiven....for now)

Question for the Day (part two)
dont shit yourselves, this does occasionally happen that i throw two questions at you.... this one is un-related.
is typing the way to continue these blogs, or would starting V-logs, be a way foreward? if you dont what a V-log is, it's a video blog.



Comment Rate Appreciate!!

the person you are trying to contact is unavailable to take your call....this could be because he is taking a dump and doesnt request the company of you whilst trying to squeeze one out....could be he simply does not give a shit.... please hang up and try again later.....much later

not sutable for anyone over the age of alive

oh my god, kiss my jizz and call me sally!


how the fuck are you all? XD

for those of you who do still read these things, im attempting to retrace my steps and go back to the bad-old-days, of me saying what ever the hell i want, with all the expletives and crap spelling, thrown in for good measure and continuity.


so i shall continue as i originally ment to go on.....


how many people on this planet, truly appreciate the sunrise in the morning? how many people understand the bliss contained in the song from a bird in summer? how many people can truly say they have been touched by love?

and how many people think, 'how gives a toss about those, ive got PORN!'.....

i am the latter


recently ive tried to establish where i fit into a social role....and i got bored and decided i am what i am, and what i am needs no excuses......

then i snapped out of song, and realised i genuinly dont know where i slot in.... ive often been called a leader, but at the same time, ive been excluded by many and the masses.... this contradiction has flattered me in some ways, but mostly confused me and dismissed any confidence i may have got from just being apart of a group.....the sense of want and longing has been replaced by simple acceptance....nothing more.


and i was just wondering if this was the norm, and if society was like this with everyone, declining to dish out obvious roles to people. are we all apart of something bigger, or are we just the ants that walk around on the surface?


the other question is of course, how much DID i have to drink that night, when i thought of this... the answer.... probably far too much


so....brings us nicely onto the meat and two veg of this epic-in-comparison-to-recent-blogs-of-mine blog:


TFTD
where do you fit into the equation of society?

QFTD
i found myself in a contravertial dilemma yesterday...a conundrum of sorts:
a penguin and a sea lion.....which one is cuter? the penguine of course.....

after a fight (as it is nature...) the sea lion kills the penguin and eats the meat....now out of the two, which one is cuter? the sea lion, or the penguin carcuss? bear in mind the sea lion is now a cold blooded killer who's just killed a cute and innocent penguin....and the penguin is now bones

HUFTD
nothing coming up, so relax, take a chill pill and squeeze out that stick that's been up your arse for the past week....its all gravey

CRA!

steeped in irony

back from the brink of destruction and dispare, and here to do your mum once again..... yes, i have returned after yet another voyage of discovery.... and by god do i want to go again!

i went to Amport house, a moral leadership course/personal awareness course, where i was supposed to develope and control my moral leadership skills......

and enter the IRONY XD
me+morals=sit com

...if i could go on it again, the only thing i would change..... i'd take a condom....


also....on the train ride home, we all thought it a wonderfull idea to buy a 'cock ring' from on of the vending machines in one of the train stations......we only bought it to spark some contrivertial conversation, on the train, but only managed to succeed in making the elderly man behind me and Rhi, lean foreward slightly, every time he heard the words 'cock' and 'ring' in the same sentance..... strange bloke...

also, i am becoming aware that i have been using some scouser mannerisms apparently.... for the possible unintentional use of these.... i appologise profusly, in advance..... but tbh, they arent a bad bunch of people :P
ah well, its all good!

Thought Of The Day
what has been your greatest success to date?

Question Of The Day
what kind of pie is the one in 'American Pie'?

Heads-up Of The Day
frigging school.....god damn it..... and also, according to a couple of people, god is going to 'chastise me with a lightening bolt'....seriously, dont ask...


Comment Rate Appreciate!
XD

i lick your.... ice cream..... and you can lick my lollipop

that's what HE said! 2

A DEFINITION

welcome to the word: DOUCHEBAG

NOUN: a DOUCHEBAG:
1) an item for cleaning certain areas of a lady's anatomy
2) name of someone who is a less than a good person....ie.... 'you douchebag'

VERB:
to douche.....to clean an area of a lady's anatomy

ADJECTIVE:
describes a person with less than good character....ie....'you are a douchbag'




i hope this has helped you in some way to understand a common word. thank you for reading. i hope you have enjoyed. any ammendments, please comment on my ass....coz the face dont give a shit....unlike my ass.

CRA (as i cba)

made in taiwan, next to the condom that broke, leading to your conception and birth....sorry

the problem with..... part 16

decissions, decissions...

now, earlier this week, some of us made the executive decission to go out and get pissed at a birthday party.... we dont regret it because it was an awsome night.... HOWEVER, was there not a slight niggle of doubt as to wether it was REALLY the BEST idea to do it in the middle of the week? of course....and the reason?.... we were fucked for the next day....

t'was our choice though....we must stand by the fact some of us tried to get served at the bar even though we're underage (fuck yeah XD....guttin gwyn dude)

we must stand by our choices, good or bad....and here i see a problem..... we're only human, and we do (for some reason) make very occasional, monumentally-bad, cock-up's......bugger.

so what can we do?
* rectify the situation;....if there's time.
* stand by it;...... good or bad, happy or sad, drunk or sober, mellow or mad

and the main problem is, its hard to know exactly what to do after you make a decission.... nothing can do more than something, sometimes...

the important thing is not regretting your decissions, which often comes after difficult decissions..... but i can saftly say, i dont regret going to the party.....i dont even regret getting smashed, however i dont think it was wise....

LIVE AND LEARN


CRA
more thoughts/questions/headsups will be arriving next blog. for now, just sit back and be gratefull i dont write reams and reams of more crap.... see ya XD

too too much....

firstly, happy birthday to xanthe and bethan....fantastic night last night and thanks again XD

secondly....dont ever let me drink like that again...... the whole, 'head under my jacket, asleep', look, doesnt really suit me, i feel....


so to news....and shit.....
even though i feel like someone's kicked me in all the right places, and i look like ive been dragged through a hedge backwards.... i feel like a dog with two dicks :) its been wicked to see everyone out and about at a party again.... ive really missed all the fun and action. really was a shame not everyone from our lil 'group' could go, which is why we need another party to recover from this one XD

me and leroy mendez will be organising something in the near future, with the intention of having a night to remember....for the right reasons too XP

i am truly rat-arsed still, so i'll do the rest of the blog in another one...
enjoy taking the piss :D
CRA X

that's what HE said!

I AM A FUCKING GENIOUS!

nah, not really....i just love to see curse words in capitol letters, in the middle of a sentance which is, for all intense and purposes...... a blatent lie.

so hi again and welcome to another voyage of discovery into unknown and uncharted (and un-cared about) territory.

usually i talk a load of bollocks, and hopefully, today shall be no exception!

today i wanted to paruse the subject of the 'best day of my life'- thus far (i might add)...... so..... the best day of my life, didnt even occur in the day.....it was a lil night time sneak out with some people. all we did was meet up, sit down in a back alley and look up at the stars on a crisp november night.

it was cold. we huddled to keep warm. then, as we sat on the freezing tarmac, we looked up and saw shooting stars! how friggin cool was that! we just sat there, only for an hour or so, and watched the sky light up in sharp flashes of intense beauty.

nothing compared to that night.....appart from the other countless 'greatest moments of my life'- thus far (gora keep adding that)

---see....bollocks---

TFTD
have you ever even seen a sperm?

QFTD
what was your 'best day'....what did you do? who did you sleep with? how many prostitutes did u bang....phil? ;)

HUFTD
erm....school.... get your work done... get outa here

as i say every blog....
CRA XD


now available in 3 extra flavours! all chocolate

a slight break with tradition....

in addition to my, 'the problem with...' blogs, i wanted to do this.... just a lil blog about whatever the hell pops into my mind or whatever i feel... clarification, questioning, and all manner of plots will be displayed here....
and i shall call it:

that's what HE said!

my first lil post is about me (i make myself feel special :P )
i heared there are jobs going down in GAME in town, and i want....desperatly....
whats the best way to appeal to a game store? nerdy? enthralled? desperate? virgin, with spots and a nevous disposition?

i really really really really really want a job, and this seems to be one way of going about it.... but knowing full well that i'll have to beat off a bunch of possibly brace-wearing nerds, who will have X-box controllers, starving for food and hit points, after playing *WoW or *D and D, or maybe even *COD.....

(* i need to get the practice in, at being nerdy, so ive used these ways of saying game names....for those who DONT know what they are, the first is world of warcraft, the second is dungeons and dragons, and the third (which is the only good one out of the three) is call of duty)

i need, also, to write a CV, which ive been trying to do since about year 10..... hmmm..... any tips? how the hell do i start? lol

any and all advice, greatly appreciated!


now.....even though this is a new section of my blog, i'll still going to do the extra bits on the end!
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
when the world 'ends' in 2012...how many times will you wank on the final day?

QUESTION FOR THE DAY
monkey nipple toast pillowcases?

HEADS-UP FOR THE DAY
driving on sunday (clear the goddamn roads!) and i'll also be doing fuck all on saturday XD

CRA (comment! rate! appreciate!)

holy jesus with a carving knife, its in stereo!

the problem with..... part 15

stuff (1)

i dont deny, this is a complete cop-out as i cant be arsed to think of a title.

on this fine day ive come to realise something quite profound..... if String-theory is to be believed, then in an infinate number of paralel universes, i'm not only in my current state, but im also happy.

its quite hard to imagine multiple universes at the best of times, let alone an infinate number, and let alone me being content with the world at large.

so whats got me down?

firstly......TIME.... the lack of it.
im a fairly busy person as you know, and getting time to myself is something that i generally need to sacrafice some sleep for.

down-time, as i like to call it, is when you appreciate the world and all the glorious wonder of it.... or when you see your friends in a situation where you dont need to worry about teachers.... or when you can kiss someone whenever the hell you want, wherever you want.... or whatever.

secondly....my apparent inability to 'grow a pair'

thirdly......rumors...... im sick of these bastards.
earlier in the week i was told something i considered quite disturbing and has been playing on my mind ever since. i literally cant comprehend how numb my brain goes when thinking and trying to make sence of the situation.... (further details can be found if u ask me directly)

and finally......why should i care?
im in the middle of several situations that i could so easily walk out of....but would leave them high and dry..... now as much as i want to walk away, i also enjoy going there..... catch 22.


ye shall recieve no extra bits today coz frankly im not in the mood.

CIAO

the problem with..... part 14

understanding

my god, how thick are we as a human race? if we were versing other species, we'd have to be put into the handicapped section, just to be given a fair chance....

we dont know where we are, how we got here, we dont know what we're doing, we dont know how to preserve the planet....we barely know how to preserve ourselves....
we forsake our needs and try to compensate by having more of one than another.....we're greedy bastards who want all but give nothing....

or are we?

I love..... right? thats a give and take thing, surely? i give my heart, offering you to accept it....if you decide to reciprocate, i can do the same... thus: give AND take

we have theory's of it all (granted its not the same as definitave evidence), which shows that our minds, although narrow minded at times, can be stretched and opened to show an entirly new perspective of it all.

its true we dont know what we've got till its gone, which is why its such a struggle and a heartache to salvage what can be salvaged, after our sheer stupidity.....but we learn and accept

and how do we preserve ourselves? we just hope nothing goes wrong half the time....the other half, we try to decide whats best, and if need be, we let go of part of our life. selfish or mature?


i know this is a bollocks blog, but basicly its a metaphore. so, sorry about that but its been on my mind and i offer the challenge for you to decifer it, if you so wish...

TFTD
subtlty is the best form of insanity...

QFTD
if you wanted to show your true emotions for one second, how much of it would be happiness?

HUFTD
school....
me driving again on sunday....
end of the world 2012....standard stuff reli

CRA XD
(oh yeah, mo-fo on fire now bitch!)

the problem with..... part 13

advertising

welcome to this, the most unlucky of my blogs to date (12 and 14 are guilty by association)

so....if it explodes.... i retract all blame now....

onwards and upwards.... hello and may i boldly say, shut up and sit down....while you're in my house, take your f**king shoes off...where do you think this is, a bloody zoo? god damn you....

so.... XD

advertising is a sin. it involves people parting with money in the hopes of brainwashing people into purchasing shit they really dont need.... and i feel the money-grabbin-bastards may have done it again with a (in my opinion), quite frankly, superb bit of advertising....

its the guitar hero 5 advert:
for those who havnt seen it, it contains the playboy girls (almost all of..) playing GH5, and hugh hefner in the background looking cool as fucking ice, smoking a pipe while these ladies dance around with the guitars.....


i then had to pick my jaw up from hell, it had dropped that far....

all i can say is that he (obviously a guy designed it) is going to the innermost circle of hell with all the lawyers, murderers and estate agents.... and may i say, congratulations....i simultaniously love and hate you.... i'll be out to buy the game pronto


TFTD
if it looks like a duck, smells like a duck, and tastes like a duck.....it was worth the hunt

QFTD
how many people actually got that ^^^?

HUFTD
erm..... driving again sunday....sleeping all saturday.... if you want to get hold of me, leave a message and i'll get back to you next friday.

CRA :P XD

the problem with..... part 12

young philipino boys who take you to the jungle, but fuck you over because they get local tribsmen to capture you.....

(possibly a slight racist opening here.... delete delete...)

and we're all better :D

today i wanna talk to you about different social groups common among the younger generations.... more specificly i want to concentrate on emo, goth and scene kids.

now ive got nothing against them....they're all gods creatures, and no matter how wierd, or stuck up, they might be, i respect them as human beings...... the thing that drives me insaine is the 'boundery system' that seems to define every living thing under a catagory, be it goth, emo, scene, skater, beach, plastic, towny, norm....etc...

actually, this in itself doesnt affect me... im already classified by biology as a homo-sapien, and by the government as a pervert.... why not attach another lable and sell me at the next auction?

the thing that winds me up truly, is the confusion between the catagories: if you wear the wrong make-up for one day, you become 'scene' instead of 'plastic' (or vise versa)....wear shorts instead of jeans, and you become 'beach' rather than 'skater' or 'towny'... and if you wear a hint of red with your black ensemble, you become 'emo' rather than 'goth' (oh what would the parents say if they were here!)

im sick of petty arguments based upon clothes, style, and how you wish to top yourself.....christ sake, use a rope like the rest of the teenage population!

but please for the love of god, if you do live past 25, dont turn into this:

or if you turn emo..:

TFTD

if the unstopable force ever met the unmovable object....do you think there could be a possibility for a sit-com?

QFTD

right....my religion.....white ninjas or some kind of rainbow ninja?

HUFTD

i dont think ive got anything for now, but im sure if you keep your heads up, you wont miss the low sign....good luck

outa here!

CRA XD

the problem with..... part 11

wierd things

have you ever sat next to a kid on the bus who is playing with a piece of fruit of something... like a bannana skin.... i did... he had an empty one, and he was throwing it up and down the bus, like any normal 8 year old (good on him i say), and he was suddenly (and with no warning or need) protected by his mother this a statement that you could bottle and lable, 'a douchebag said this'....:

'he eats bannana's for the potassium and the fact he can loose weight more effectivly'

BULL SHITE.....

1) he's fucking 8! what possible reason could he have to loose weight? that, my dear, deluded lady, is a cover story for YOU....you dont wanna seem like the fucking pig in the family, so you palm off the 'blame' to your infant...a bold move, and one that would usually work, but unfortunatly you fail to see that i've seen 'how to look good naked' too (i was curious), and let me just tell you hun....for the record..... how to look good naked?....
BITCH, LOOSE SOME WEIGHT!

and 2) let him paint.... let him discover.... let him live HIS dreams, not yours.... if he wants to be an abstract artist, so be it.... embrase it....

so yes, wierd people come in all forms...but the true hero on that day was the 8 year old. i saute you dear boy.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
fear of the unknown keeps us safe....but knowlage that we dont know, keeps us just a little bit excited

QUESTION FOR THE DAY
Oedipus.....the original mother fucker?

HEADS-UP FOR THE DAY
im starting up a religion very soon..... i hope you all start respecting my values and morals.... and i hope that one or two of you even join 'THE CHURCH OF THE WHITE NINJA'

hope to see you soon dear friends...
CRA XD

the problem with..... part 10

keeping on

have any of you ever looked at what you do daily, your routine, the way things work around you?
well i have, and i can safly say (even though i really cant spell today), im sick of it all. im bored. so bored. so very very bored. everything seems to be going stale around here. no-one wants to break free. the same old repetitive lifestyles are up and down the road, with no enthusiasm shown in any walk of life.
keeping on is what makes us human..... but too much can make us robots.

this is the reason that i am going to attempt to do as many things as possible to rekindel friendships, cause some friction, and basicly make the world a more exciting place...... this could just mean that some of us get together every now and then and just go get completly shit faced and neglect giving a toss =P

the ball will start rolling next friday, with a lil camping trip.....only up caerphilly mountain (avoiding the dogging areas), and only a small group of people. booze, people, tents, music....etc
just to get away from it all, all be it for a day.

if anyone has any ideas for something we could do to have some fun....let it be known.... sort it....get something done so that we dont become stagnant mindless people.

suggestions:
1) orgy
2) paintballing
3)another orgy
4).... etc


thought for the day
thanks karan for an awsome night last night.....sorry i got a bit (lot) drunk xx
happy birthday today though hun xx

question for the day
how many roads must a man walk down, before you can call him a road enthusiast?

heads-up for the day
camping up the mountain on friday
and im on the roads as of tomorrow.....be affraid, be very very affraid


ciao bitches!

the problem with.....part 9

in a vague attempt to return to the 'one every 2 days' rule:
the problem with religious leaders

i wanted to talk to you lot about something that has bamboozled me, perplexed me, and has followed my thoughts for at least 10.... minutes... or so.....give or take 9...

i just dont get it.....
i get the fact they are icons of a particular religion and all that jazz... i get it that they have been selected by their god, or gods..... but what i dont get...what i truly cant get my head around is...

whats the point?

i was always brought up to understand that god (in this case) was everywhere (the dirty bastard), and he was as contactable as a whore on a sex line...... never too busy, as long as you keep the faith and stay on the line long enough.

so my question, what is the point, is brought about by the fact that ANYONE can get hold of him/her/them/it....so whats the purpose of a leader, such as the pope? what possible value does he hold in religious society, appart from he was chosen by god to wear a hat that should have gone out in the charity bag......yes he leads, but why? dont people have enough self control by following the 'Almighty'?

apparently not..... they believe in some heavenly supernatural being, but put in charge someone who is all too human. what kind of person puts a human before their god?..... apparently, anyone who's catholic.....or has any kind of leader, be it parishiner, vicar, guru, iatola....et al.

question for the day
why do religious people, in your opinion do this? what do they achieve by having a 'middle-man'?

thought for the day
have you ever wondered what it would be like to go to the most wonderfull place on heaven and earth? to experience shear joy and jubilation?...... neither have i....which is why i want to go to the cadburys factory on a tour before the americans buy it :(

heads-up for the day
ino i said it was party time on friday, but unless you've been invited: if your names not down, you're not comin in..... soz for the false hope
and also its dans funeral on friday, 10:30 at st martins church......NO BLACK. red and white (for wales).

CRA BITCHEZ! :P

the problem with.....part 8

bar myths

simply....most of them are bollocks.....plane and simple.

i think my favourite and most heared myth is that most humblest of any heavy drinker.... the myth that if you drink beer (or any alcoholic beverage for that matter), you get drunk easier.

lets just clear this up once and for all.....the only reason people get more drunk after drinking alcohol through a straw is beacause you actually DRINK MORE while testing the myth for an ounce of fact or truth....

simply, if you try it, you end up drinking more alcohol instead of less, as you planned, and you end up only taking in mouthfulls of tasty, tasty, cooling, froth, after every suck of the straw.
which is alright if you you like bubbles, but not alright if you just like getting bladdered..... for this i recommend shots:

tequilla slammer, and black zambooka....very nice

question for the day
whats the best alcoholic drink you've ever had? none of this bullshit, 'but i dont even know what alcohol is!'.....your innocent puppy face doesnt work with me bitch, speak up!
personally mine is MYTHOS....its greek....its a lager beer, and it is lush. wa bout you lot?

thought for the day
i will be on the road soon. i will have my own car, with my own insurance policy. i will be aiming to be free by at most, christmas......... no this isnt me boasting..... this is a public warning....
unlike when i went solo in gliding, i will be able to hit you without having to land/stop.... although this constitues a HEADS UP....i felt the need for thought was more applicable for the time being
you have been warned

heads-up for the day
2 for today: first, karens party is on friday...... alcohol, friends.... sounds like the night i got stacy pregn....

and secondly, im not available on sundays for the forseable future due to me having driving lessons, the first one being on sunday 13th september, and continuing till i either give up, crash, or pass..... the bets are being taken as to which of those 3 happens first



CRA (comment rate appreciate, for those of you just tuning in)

the problem with.....part 7

lighters and oldies:

is it me or is there nothing funnier than a 40-a-day, 90 year old woman, desperatly searching for a lighter so that she can smoke up in a place that is bound by law, not to let you smoke..... if you cant see the funny side to this, allow me to enlighten you...

(and before you allow a moral dilema to develope in your brain, just think....they cant be killing her too much: shes friggin 90 and on 40-a-day!)

firstly, just imagine this old lady wandering around aimlessly with a fixed expression of 'how did i get here?', as her dimentia sets in for another round of 'WHERE AM I'. cigarette carton in one hand, lighter in the other, as she goes around every table asking for a light, in the restaurant.... of course, they all see her holding this lighter, but decline to tell her because they dont want to see her embarased... ironicly making things far worse...

secondly, when she arrives back at the table (after some assistance, where she flirts outragously and loudly, to this poor guy who was just wrong place, wrong time..), she see's her ligher she'd been clutching for the best part of 20 minutes, stands up, and openly announces to the restaurant, 'ive found it, ive found it! put down your magic phones coz granny's got her arson tool'.
the restaurant, astounded -eyes transfixed upon this senile old bat-slowly return to their meals, as she sits and attempts to make this silver box work.

the third part is when she's sitting and playing with the lighter... its a silver one....the sterotypical 'mob' lighter....she flicks it open and starts turning the wheel. she's making sparks, but its just not lighting for some reason....she tries this about 10 times then starts eating.....then returns to piss about and piss us off for the next 20 minutes. when she does (somehow) get a flame to emerge, she takes a big lungfull of air, then blows it out, cheering afterwards...

the final part is when she's leaving. (its important to note at this point that i am sitting in the centre isle of the restaurant.....everyone coming or going has to pass behind my chair.)
she stands with purpose. she shouts to the room, 'i had a lovely meal....thank you mr chef '. she hugs the waiter, starts to walk out the door and then suddenly bends down to whisper in my ear and give me something... she then leaves.

its strange that i didnt fully comprehend what she'd said till i looked at what she'd given me:
it was the cigarette packet...and its contents was a single playing card.... the joker

what she'd said to me: 'its fun to act, sometimes'

suddenly it all made sense......this vision of the perfect batty old woman was in-fact blurred by her comic genious and superb timing. she was fantastic.
and all i could do was giggle to myself, with a smile that would make the cheshire cat blush.

question for the day
has anything like that ever happened to you? any embarasing moments you wish you could erase, or ..... are you waiting till you get to that age to mess around like she could, and get away with it?

thought for the day
if a tree falls in a wood and there's no-one around to hear it....does anyone care? i mean, who would even know if one had fallen if there's no-one around?!..... its a shit saying.....

heads-up for the day
yes folks, satan is having his annual ball again and inviting all your worst nightmares......so, heads up for school on friday....and good luck


see ya fools! XP

the problem with.....part 6

life

the evil neccessity. the one thing that we all need, and we all hate. given in a second, and taken just as quickly.

we fight for life, we die for life. as stupid as it is illogical, the human race does many things to maintain or destroy it.

my life for example has been simple: i was born at a very young age, and since then, ive grown up and learnt stuff....now ive come to a philosophical understanding about what i want or what i need in life;

i only need 3 things....... food in my belly, a roof over my head, and some spare change in my back pocket for a rainny day. who could ask for more than that?


my HEADS-UP for the day goes to my next blog which is going to take on a new format, and going to be about lighters

see ya in two days, mo-fo's!

RIP dan

the problem with.....part 5

in a return to this series of things that either annoy me, make me think 'bugger', or just make everyone else go 'well thats something i dont give a toss about!'......welcome back
i hope you got a return coz i aint payin the bus fare....

to break us back into this obscene series again, i was going to talk about the problems of puberty...but quickly realised it could be summed up in one word.........

its SHIT.


so instead, im gona chat about something thats dear to me in so many ways... something i have always had an affection for... something that i dont think i COULD'nt write about:
the mexican football commentator!




or not......holiday romances (fitting as ive just got back from hols.........you didnt remember?......u son of a bitch.....)

holiday romances are defined as ones that you dont even consider taking home with you...if you do, then this is no longer a HOLIDAY romance (please try to keep up). there are certain priorities when selecting your potential romancer....

1) clean~~cant have fleas or any diseases that you can take home (the idea is you leave all the evidence with your key as you leave the hotel)

2) not a stalker~~ again, can track you down when you get home..... AVOID

3) not a heavy drinker (if you need liquour to help you)~~ if you end up under the table before she does, you have no control of your destination.... could be her room, could be your room, could be the floor you fell on, you stupid S.O.B.


so thats advice......what to do if you want to get them to notice you though?
well... firstly you could wait for them to make the first move (never works you pussy), or you could get things moving...

i have a younger brother....perfect. what you do is tell him to go and talk to the girl you like and get him to tell her that you like her.....when he's done this, acknowlage what he's done, and tell her you're sorry about him, then ask how she is....thus entering the first conversation: welcome to the world of oppertunities.....if you fuck it up from here, its YOUR fault and you should be locked away as an arse forever...or till your flight.

thats what works for me anyways :P
enjoy

thought for the day bitch!
whats goin on people, wher ya all to, wher ya all go....youv all buggerd off for a bit without me... im lonly :(
so where would you recommend going on holiday? thats the question. if you can give a reason with your answer, i wont think of you as a pompus ass, and it may actually help people, so be detailed if you can be arsed.

night night kiddies

welcome to page 3

well another holiday has passed for me....woop-de-doo im back (sooo much sarcasm..)

ive established something:

#please be advised that readers may find some scenes depressing, boring or just plain daft.....descression is advised as i cant be arsed to give it an age certificate#

i have come to the conclusion that abertridwr, caerphilly and wales, although beautifull, are fucking boring. there is jack shit to do around here, and i am rapidly becoming utterly sick of the same damn routines that i have had implanted in my mind by people telling me i've got 'commitments'....

BOLLOCKS! i dont have any commitments that make my life drain away, so much so that only by virtue of the fact my mates are here, do i keep my feet planted. this entire concept of commitment is wearing me thin. day by day i feel my patence shrink, and beneith the underlayer my motivation is dying quickly. nothing seems worth it anymore.... ive been away to 3 different places this summer, and yet its only when i return home 'where the heart is', that i realise how crap this place is (not my home or family or friends....the area, the people, the rest). nothing is more exhilerating to me now, than to get the fuck away from caerphilly!

ive got people telling me this that and the other.... my 'commitments and responsibilities' lie in only a few areas, and yet the weight of them is killing me:

.....school
.....cadets
.....coaching

all of these combined is proving potent to me at the moment. for christ sake, can anyone help me....at all.... i dont care who you are, how we are as mates, where you live.... help me.

without trying to sound too melodramatic, you may be some kind of saviour to me.
thanks

my holiday blog...minus pictures

kalispera!

i managed to get on here for a period of time greater than the time it takes to wipe.....

so hello :D its been a while hasnt it

first things first, i DONT know how ive done in the exams so dont ask till im home.....and secondly, how did everyone else do? ive been gettin scrappy pieces of info from people nd i think im working on the basis that anything above a C is fookin amazing....

talk to you all soon :D
Adio!

the problem with.....part 4

the morning after the night before.....



dude....ouch



well, that's what happens (sorry, i'll speak quieter) if u stay out all night, and then only leave to avoid cleanin up your mess....



god damn it, i dont care where you managed to fit 5 bannanas after some much violent persuasion.... you're late man, get up!



right, here....take these, drink this, stop compaining, and get your arse out of bed..



NO YOU CANNOT HAVE AN EXTRA 5 MINUTES



do you want me to tell her what you did with those twin asian girls.....and that 1 guy?



oh you dont remember!....there's a bloody suprise..... when you had all those optics, i didnt think you would remember much...



#optics are the liquors you often see behind the bar....very alcoholic....and an optic chaser is when you mix a shot of each of the optics in a big glass.....usually adds up to a pint or so, of pure regret......(FYI)#



well c'mon.....crowds are waiting......

now lets annalyse your picture --->

you're now a fat slob, only-just retaining a job, gawping with the exciting prospect of another day, you've just shat yourself and you're proud, and you're gona die from liver failure in the next 10 minutes....due to 1 night out.... you discrace the name of binge drinker (and i can tell all that, just from your pic :P )

QOTD (question for the day)

Mair: if i could be any person, living of fictional, it would be a major religious leader from either islam or christianity..... basicly, i want to maipulate millions and millions of people to do stupid things in the name of something that may or may not exist, and remain blameless in the eyes of my people..... so religious icons are a perfect choice....especially those two religions, because they're the most violent and hysterical religions in the world

Tim: im not gona be in the country on results day unfortunatly, so i have no idea; however, if i do get wind, i'll let you know......


btw, if anyone is holding a party after the 28th, i wanna come drown my sorrows :P






my question today is: how many times have you people been completly rat-arsed....you know.... ABSOLUTLY WASTED





CRA


(and im out of the country....agen....for another 2 weeks, and wont be able to text this time)


see ya soon



(and sorry the blog is SO spaced out....mysterious blogging format.... stupid as fu..)

the problem with.....part 3

parties





we all love them in general (appart from wakes.....whats the point... they're dead! doesnt matter how good the tunes are, they wont wake up).



the colaberation of social setting (usually someones house), the beer (self explanitory, although the stronger the better), and the friends (the least important componant AFTER they've given you the beer). often, party's are defined by the music that gets played, and the people that turn up.....not too posh....no slappers/tarts



they can be big or small and yet still have the same epic qualities as the other. magical times where no-one gives a damn, and even the more... 'larger' people.... get up and shake their posterior to the rhythem of the beat....even though we wish they wouldnt..



having said that....there are 2 downsides to this:

1) (the fat people dancing, we've covered)

2) the clean-up



clean-up is that brief period of time after the party where you wish you'd never said, 'fuck it, come round mine, we'll have a laf'... its also the time when you realise who you should never invite again, and who your true friends are;



the people you should never invite again are the people who thought that they could break what they want, because they're retarded and have no morals or respect.....gwyn (oj dude!)



and you're true friends...the ones you knew would stand beside you throughout....the ones you can depend upon for anything in the world.......well, they can all be indentified by the fact they all pissed off early so as to avoid the clean-up process...only aquaintances stay and to their bit before buggerin off to sleep....somewhere...



anyways....just try and get some sleep dude, and be gratefull your not this guy in the background ----->





















THOUGH FOR THE DAY!!!!

the film GI Joe, is coming out soon......does anyone else think Britain should retaliate by making an Action Man film?

and to Tim....my favourite revel is the coffee one, much to other people's distaste


thanks for the questions, and keep 'em coming

CRA

a response: the problem with.....part 1 of a million

i received some questions from the aformentioned blog (yay, the system works :P )

XANTHE: Why are you so guarded?
answer: i dont fully know.... i think its probably because as much as i like to think it, i dont trust that many people....much less with all i know in my life. nothing catastophic has ever happened to me in my short yet somewhat productive existance....
i dont feel that anything would come from telling people all about me....im not that vain, i just act, hence the guardedness when something proper does come my way. as ive said many times before, im not special, im just me. its actually a pretty basic and sad existance with its ups and downs like any other. im a pretty depressing guy at heart too, and i would hate (truly now) to bring anyone to my level of pathetic depression.
answered enough? W/B

GWYN: Why don't you make a blog of your own 50 random questions, instead of asking us to question you in such a way?
answer: i cant be arsed :)

TIM: Is there a god?
answer: you bastard, you've picked a question that man has druled over for millenia......the answer is of no importance in the world....it's a case of pure argumentitive skill.
this is one of the rare cases where you literally cant say yes or no, based on current scientific evidence or religious evidence. if you are ignorant and base an answer upon science, then you will get a biased answer, and vise versa.
there is overwhelming evidence to suggest in BOTH ways.....and due to this, they damn near cancle each other out. science is currently working on theory's to explain the origins of the universe, based upon multi-dimentional and mulitiple universes. religion already has an anwser for the creation of the universe, in every religion. the fundimental questions have been answered by religion, and are currently being worked out and solved by scientific theorists, physicists, chemists, etc.
till science has evolved to a state where it can answer and provide evidence for a god, it's impossible to deem religion as either true or false.

but i leave you with this:
science adjusts it's views based on what's observed. faith is the denial of observation so that belief can be preserved.

the problem with.....part 2

to continue this voyage of misunderstood-ness, cliche's, and stereotypes...

the problem with being butch:

it's amazing how people perceive masculinity in all its glorious forms (ish).... the definition of a man is how butch he is....how much torment he can endure in life to see him through.
of course, masculinity can be tested in several ways, and expressed in even more: you have the casuall fights, the friendly arm wrestles, and the playfull banter to hype yourself up to glorify you to the point of 'god-like' status.....

lets observe the latter of the 3....

if someone says something about someones mum.... the joker may receive a comment from the victim... either a comeback, or a verbal warning along the lines of, 'shut the f*** up or i'll kick your f****** head in you b****** c*** of an a*******'.

if someone asks (random thing i saw on the internet) what would you do if you knew you only had 1 day to live.... you may be replied to with several things all expressing masculinity:
.....i'd go kick some d***head's head in....
.....i'd go shag the hottest girl i could find....
.....i'd go get pissed with my mates....

all of which are lies....for example...here is my answer




i would sit in a corner and cry..... ALOT.

now i admit, i dont have the physique of a roman god, nor the inteligence to outwit any opponant.... but i can tell you that for a fact. (ive heared so many bull remarks off people trying to be butch....)


so my re-encarnated, THOUGHT FOR THE DAY!

if you had only 24 short hours in which to waste, before some godly image appeared and then carried you beyond the reaches of human perception, to another land without bounderies or limits, so much so, you would probably have limitless power and therefore would be able to complete the james bond game i've had since i was about 8 but could never really finish because i had the attention span of a ADHD suffering goldfish...........

what would you do?

post a comment, and mabey i'll give a damn :)

CRA mo-fo

XD

i'm in love....

well hi....

look, im sorry i didn't call or text but....

right, i said i was sorry.....

hey....there's no reason to....

well fine then...i might aswell admit it, im not in love with you at all....i've found another....

DOLYGAER!

seriously now, i am in love with an area of wales i last went to when i was about 5. i have fallen head-over-heals in love with dolygaer, which is in merthyr. on 11 acres of land, there's Pontsticill reservoir, caves, loads of places to walk and orienteer, and areas to absail. fan-fookin-tastic!

i did it all. i actually completed all of it. anything i put my mind to i completed.
i did canoeing for the first time on monday, and then on wednesday i was TEACHING it! i am in love with the entire area, and ive kinda taken a shine to canoeing. i love it....

if you couldnt tell, ive had fun

tired now! speak soon!

the problem with.....part 1 of a million

as you can tell from my pre-amble, this is going to end up being quite a long blog.....

so lets begin!
today: the problem with secrets.....

now; if someone comes to me with, 'ive got a secret to tell you...', i automaticaly think, 'you utter tit'.
in my books, a secret is defined as, 'im not telling you because this information is not supposed to be leaked to the outside world', not, 'c'mon in and spread my life'...

the idea of a secret, surly, is to conseal information from the public domain, so why do people insist on passing it around! if i have a secret, i keep it secret....otherwise i dont call it a secret... its just a few words i dont want many people knowing in that particular order!

(god knows i dont have an overall problem with literacy in all its forms, and far be it from me to dictate what words we learnt in school.....except fuck..... that belongs to the world...)

so...what do i think should happen to these people who think everything they dont want their ex-best friend knowing, automatically qualifies as a secret?

shoot them... or at least punch them on the nose
this is what will happen when i atain power.....prey i have mercy on your souls #insert calas and evil laugh here#


question of the day:

im not going to ask a question: im gona open up the floor to you guys....each and everyone of you.... you ask the questions and i'll answer them, in detail, as much as i can. ANYONE can ask ANYTHING, and i WILL answer you all......

CRA

eurotrip

2 sections to todays blog (yes, i can opperate with two aims!......i'm a modern man :P )

ah thank you #insert pompus laughter here, to complete the illusion of me being a posh git#

and finally: first thing's first; i want to gauge the reaction of this massive crowd.......who fancy's going away.... i mean like spain or something. road trip. aka...eurotrip

ive had this idea for some time now, that several of us could pack our bags and set off on an adventure of sorts. not with any extreem aim...only to have a laugh and drink till we piss ourselves and suddenly learn the french for, 'get the fuck out of my nightclub'. this romantic notion has always seemed phesable....however, several things have eluded us:

people going
transportation
general cost

these all need to be sorted before we seriously contemplate going on such a trip, so i ask you ALL....

fancy going?




and secondly: where do you all wanna go?

france (a dump)
spain (beautifull country)
italy (also stunning)
germany (only problem: its full of germans)
etc...




no thought for today children....consider yourselves homework free.... but i want you to keep reading, and check your spellings....


see ya all soon :P
CRA

and add me on msn if you havnt already: cpl.pearce@hotmail.co.uk

i want the world....

actually, bugger the world, just give me enough land to start my own brewery, and enough money to sustain it in the short term while i start up....

see, i think of these things.....

well hello to all my adoring fans....all 1 of you....this does suck, doesnt it, gwyn


my bit today is going to be short because no-one actually comes on here anymore appart from gwyn, properly.
the decline of this website's popularity amongst us is, frankly, shocking.... people are blogging...but it is very sparse.
ITS NOT GOOD ENOUGH PEOPLE




i propose a test.....anyone who reads this blog: leave a comment. just say YES. nothing else.. just leave a sign that you noticed it. FRIEND OR FOE, LEAVE A MESSAGE (lmao)



thought for the day!
have you ever truly fallen in love?
i havnt....but a proper romace story would be nice :)

(appart from you mair...we all know :P )

CRA

happy slap your mum!

nah im kidding...she's a really nice lady to be fair

i suddenly had a thought on riat (it did hurt), and i felt myself becoming profound....thinking in ways that i'd never really done without strong pharmasuticals and chemicals.... which was nice :)

'even the tallest man can be humbled,
even the smallest man can be strong.
even the proudest man can struggle,
even the rightious man can be wrong.

the lonley find consolation,
and lost find the way.
hold the knowlage of the past
as you prepare for another day.'


question of the day

any thoughts?

CRA x

and so you're back, from outer space...

ah yes dear comorades, you thought you could get rid of me that easily..well once again i have proven to be the cockroach that fails to yield!

(hang a bang....thats dirogetory to myself :S )

well....2 weeks have passed (ish), and ive gone and returned to RIAT.... my first camp as a sergeant and it was awsome. though it rained and it was hard going at times, my fight kept morale up and soldiered onwards, to be the best flight (in my eyes) out of +750 cadets. an amazing bunch of people, and people who i will damn near never forget. ups and downs...fantastic

and now, for my amazing return party........
just me?
ok then....

SLEEP OVER AT MY PLACE!!!!



my question for today...?

what you still doing here!

see ya! :P

(oh yeah, btw....call me Hans Schadenfreude..... dont ask.... RIAT....)

god doesnt do autographs

anymore........

well a very good morning to you all (unless its afternoon)
ive just managed to sneak in a final blog before i bid you all adure, and see you in 11 days (ish)
its currently 02:03 in the morning....the only reason im still up is because 1) ive just finished packing...and 2) this maintains my 1 blog every 2 days, rule.

speaking of the rule...... this will dissapear. im sorry...... im going to leave you entirly blogless for nearly 2 weeks..... but rest assured, i will be back......probably in a box (after this camp), but here........ ready to blog again (god i need to get a frigging life!)

so......this is me basicly. once i have finished writing this, i had sleep, and i'm traveling down to RAF Fairford, as you read this blog....



(OH FUCK YEAH! EVEN WITH THE KNOWLAGE I ONLY HAVE 4 HOURS SLEEP TO LOOK FORWARD TO, AND WHILE SUFFERING SLEEP DEPRIVATION...... I CAN STILL SCREW WITH YOUR HEADS BY USING THE 3 TENSES IN THE SAME SENTANCE :P)



and now sadly, we draw to a close, like a pair of curtains on a summers day....
so.....thought for the day

what the hell am i still doing awake, writing this bloody thing!
damn my punctuality of blogs.....



see you all soon :D
CRA xxxxx


(btw, cheers adam, for the help ova msn )

im evil to sweets

yes, another aspect of my personality came to light today as i sat eating sweeties at a wedding....apptly, the sweets were love hearts!

as i sat eating the bloody addictive bastards (c'mon....once you start eating a pack, you cant stop....much like 'After Eights', 'Chocolate Orange', 'Matchmakers'....et al.), it suddenly came to my attention that i was reading the words on them.....and then actually saying things to counter what they said....

one example of this: one of them said 'YOU'RE MINE'.....to which i replied, 'i beg to differ...'....and i ate it. i'd realised i was fucked in the head....but replying in a nasty way, to inanimate confectionary is probably 1 step beyond the normal nutter.

comments?





also, i'd like to thank mark and stacey for inviting me to their wedding. fantastic day, to be fair, even if the weather turned a bit towards the end. great to see you all again, because its not often that that side of the family groups together like that....seen's there are so bloody many :P
anyways, thanks, and congratulations :D




now, final bit of jargon before i leave you: im on AREA 2 TRAINING DAY tomorrow with cadets, and then as of monday, im on camp.....this does mean i'm fully booked up untill the 24th, and yes i will be missing playing basketball in the millenium stadium (much to my dissappointment)
i will however be having much more fun though; im sorry.... if this is how cool it was last year (and the show was cancled) i wanna see it when its on:

i will be contactable on the usuall number though, if anything dramatic does happen.... and a word of advice.... gwyn: dont be silly, wrap your... (you finish it off)



now: thought for the day!

will anyone miss me when im gone? :P

and now seriously: if anyone could start over again....if anyone could be what they wanted to be.... if anyone could start something, a trend of sorts.....

then what flavour ice-cream would you be! (an immense question i know)
chilli and chocolate? spinich? human?.....u decide, and get back to me :D

CRA

the de-sensitised generation

get out

so what i wanted to talk to you about today is the increasing number of spoofs/fake films that have being created in recent years. we've all seen films like 'scary movie', 'not another teen movie' and 'epic movie' (scary movie and NAT movie are the only good ones....the rest seem to TRY to emulate them....but fail)

the most recent of these are LVK (lesbian vampire killers), and Jenifers body (ive included this....not really knowing if it is a spoof or an actuall serious production)

LVK of course features james horne and mathew cordon.......an absolutly fantastic film....complete fun, and well... AWSOME... this is high praise from me coz i really dont watch many films, as i have the attention span of a dal...

OH LOOK A PUPPY!

and now i approach the topic of Jennifers body (no, that wasnt intentionally ment to sound sexual....but by god, its staying!). this film can be summed up in two simple, hot, bi-sexual words....... megan fox

this film has the appearance of a spoof with the language, but somehow seems to use the graphics you'd expect to find in a genuine horror..... confusion untill i see the film, i guess

basicly the story goes....hot girl who is inhibited by the devil (so shes horny on the inside ;] ), goes around killing boys for no apparent reason, then suddenly turns and starts killing girls too...
and she says this one line that makes every guy jizz: its when she turns on this girl who was her friend;

MF: (approaches the girl)
girl: what are you doing? i thought you only killed guys!?
MF: i go both ways

that last line......pure gold



now....thought for the day! :D

do you think, as a population, we are becoming de-sensitised to horror and gore due to these spoof films, making it [horror and gore] seem less offensive to what we would normal percieve as horror... thus making it socially acceptable by adding comedy?

CRA XD

who the hell do you think i am?

babe....you were good..... but i was fantastic

so today i wanted to talk about modesty...........



im ONLY JOKING people......t'would be an oxymoron for me (a bloke without much modesty) to talk about such a straining subject..... so instead im going to talk about accents

accents define our area of living........ and people's perception of us (be that of our social status or class.....). they're subliminally quite important features of our personality's.

some of us love our accents whereas others dispise them. my own accent seems to be a combination of english and welsh, but seeing as i live in a valley with quite a soft welsh accent anyway, it seems to fit... this is compared to the harsher versions of the welsh accent from the rhymny valley (where every sylable sounds like a threat), or the north walien accent (where it sounds like everyone has swallowed their voice)

no matter where you're from though, you cant help but listen out for an accent. it identifies who you're talking to.......so, as you become familiar with accents of friends and family, on things like msn, you read things from them and imagine them saying it, in their voice (or is this just me?)

anyways.......recently, ive started talking to a few irish and scotish people on MSN. there's about 5 of them, and i've only actually met 2 of them......so, i can imagine the voice of two of them..... but the other 3.....clueless

i've concocted accents for them, based on display pics, language used, and stereotypical irish and scotish things i see:
problems with this:....... their display pics change daily, and therfore i make them sound posh 1 day, and (their equivalent) chav the next....
also, they seem to come up with new words every day for different things..... ie: 1 day they might be good, the next great, the next 'grand'.......
and finally.....all i can think of when working out these accents are either dara o'brien, or sir jackie stewart.....not exactly the crucial feminin i was looking for, but as close as ive got..

so.....worst case scenario for me is they either sound nothing like the voices i invisaged......or they sound EXACTLY like a middle age scotish/irish, quite chavy (yet quietly posh), bloke......


jolly good........ though for the day

do you do this? imagine people who are saying whatever it is they've written......ie, me reading this blog

lemmie know :P
CRA

kiss ass

people of the world, spice up your life....... i recommend paprika

it has come to my attention that i only have 10 minutes to write and publish this blog, before my '1 every 2 days' rule expires...

so....howdy doody to you all on this fine day
(what the hell happened to the weather!)



today i wanted to talk to you about the group of people who think their tounge is a rectile thermometer.... the kiss ass'ers.

this is the band of jolly people who follow the higher and highest ranked/priveliged persons around, till the cows come home, not only to supple on all the food they had last night, but to wipe, kiss and love their ass.

this, they believe, will stand them in good stead for improving their own status, convieniently forgetting that they have no personality and will laughed at by the rest of the natural, non robotic world.....they believe that if they sit there and dont ask questions then they will get to where they want to go.

and the thing is....these 'yes-men' DO get to where they want to go......but only to a point.
they NEVER get to see the actual boss...and they NEVER seem to get what they fully desire....

oh my dear god.....something amazingly convienient has just happened (no not me learning to spell) ..... i managed to accidentally link two blogs! :O XD (see religion)

and now for the though of the day........

would you kiss someones rectile sphyncter to get where you wanted to go in life?

let me know in a video post, if possible :P

CRA XD

comment rate appreciate....mother fu..

bit of a hottish topic today so sorry if you were expecting funny: thats the next 1

ive been getting a load of comments all over the internet from people asking me to either write a blog about religion, or NOT to write a blog about religion, and (quote) 'fall into that trap'...or...'make the same mistake' (unquote)
well tough....im doing the first :P

#achem...#

note to all:
i only write about religion from a 3rd person perspective, as i am 'waiting to be converted' (like a child at a sweet shop....you may enter, but never return)...... in doing so, i aim only to take the piss, and spark some contoversy and anger within my friendship groups and the outside world.....(hell its cold, lets create some friction XD

of course, all of this 'sinning' on my behalf is in a completly independant and profound way, opening your minds to taking the piss out of other religions....not just christianity (although seeing as though that seems to be britain's main stream religion, and it's forced down the throat of every primary school child (in wales at least), i feel slight annoyance against it and unfortunatly it bears the brunt of most of my insults and remarks....)

see.....my feelings are, you should make your own moral choices about what you believe in....but unfortunatly, if you are brought up with religion from an early age, you inherit your parent's moral religious standards and become 'religiously-conformist' (my word for today)....therefore, the religion keeps surviving, even if the conduct and morals are weak or shit....


im going to say something that on any other day i should be shot for.....i agree with france on something: religion and politics are kept separate. there is no secularisation in the french state schools, buisinesses or other political assets. religion is kept for YOUR time. the rest of life and community is kept for PEOPLE..... NOT BELIFE....... a humanistic point of view, but i appreciate it.

agree/disagree?

personally i think this is the way britain should move towards because it avoids major controversy and 'community awkwardness'..... everyone is a little bit racist and to say otherwise is a lie.... so to abolish, from everyday society, one of the key features that keeps communities slightly divided.... isnt that a good thing?

i respect but dissagree with religions..... they have immense power over people, offering them a view of the world and the entire spectra of belief..... but i agree with the scientific viewpoint more-so: im not wrong...neither are you.... seen as though we cant prove if we're right, i say just sit back and enjoy the view.

if there is a hell, and i meet the guy in charge of it...may he roast me like a pig..... i have no regrets in this life, and i could die happy with that knowlage, even if i knew there was a hell that i was destined to go to it.


anyway, my though for the day is simply this:

do you agree with france on this one? im not asking if you are religious, or your personal belife. all im asking for is a yes or no, really.

CRA (comment rate appreciate)
please comment :P

like a clown in a maternity unit....a welcome change from the norm


and so to the buisness of choosing a topic to sexually hurass, only to be sued by it in tens of years from now, after its grown up..... oh wait....there's 1 now

ladies and gentlemen.....the catholic church
what a fun little organisation we've stumbled upon in our quest to seek out, and take the piss out of..
the organisation that only has one entrants question, for every choir boy, from the 'father':
'would you like to be a missionary....or spread eagle?'

so lets elaborate: you can pretty much go through your entire life commiting sin and crime wherever you go....as long as you confess.... and toss some beads about......

so basicly... a life of romping, murdering and downright rudeness....and al is forgiven by bragging about it to some dude you dont see, and wearing jewelry

AWSOME :D

and whats the price of all this?.......you have to take turns being analy drilled by the pope....

totally worth it

(btw, ino this is blasphemous.....but i dont care :D )



i cant be arsed tonight: thought for the day!!!!!!

how do you 'fridgerate' something in order for it to be necessary to purchase a RE-fridgerator?


CRA!!!!! (comment, rate, appreciate)

save the world...eat pie

that would be a hell of a concept

anywho..... ive decided upon a state of mind.... blomonge (no fecking idea how to spell it :P )
fairly stable and solid, but if u mess me about, i do turn to friggin mush and clog up the sink.

its all good

WELCOME, howdy and hello to a special edition of my blog......what's so special?..... i wrote it XD

today we will discuss the topic of death....a morbid topic, but fuck it i feel good.

death is defined as no longer living, and is usually followed with a nasty ass smell. also, having sex with a corps is basicly wrong...morally and physically....its kinda disgusting.....

thats enough of death......

now i also wanted to talk to you about a fairly scientific study/survey ive been working on for the past 2 and half years. its a biological piece designed to test the respirity system, and looking at the exchange of oxygen within the lungs themselves. it studies the effects of high pressure and extreem low pressure on the human body, and i found out something both startling and incredible: ..

humans need air to live

nobel prize, here i come XD



thought for the day

what is your favourite pie filling? simple enough....but lets try be imaginative please.... not just apple or meat..... although saying this, mine is mince lmao (as in miced pies- christmas)

lemmie know :D




(and can we have a bit of response.....thanks to those who commented on the last one :P)

CRA (comment rate appreciate)

in an unusuall way

welcome back



i wanna start with a question: which?



and now, i thought i'd talk to you about something that makes me laugh and makes me cry: computer error messages....
i recieved 1 hell of an error message today.....not what it was....more what it said....

'WINDOWS INTERNET EXPLORER HAS TO CLOSE IN AN UNUSUAL WAY'.....as if it had made a bet with a Mac, and is now appologising because it bloody lost....again.

no shit now, that is word-for-word, what my laptop told me. im just wondering what the hell it ment by 'unusual way'..... it just closed.... not as if it turned into jam or something..... or sent itself into fckin space!....

to the people at microsoft: you are douchbags for making shite software....and retards, yet comic genious's, for the error messages that follow every hidious mistake with said crappy software. a situation worth a round of applause (or appaul) any day of the week.... MR GATES.....WE SALUTE YOU (you rich bastard)



now.......thought for the day!

right, now this 1 is always a killer for me in 2 aspects......imagine you are with a group of people, and someone starts talking to you about something....anything..... and they are putting they're heart and soul into this.... telling you everything that happened, exactly when it happened.....

then they say the killer line...... 'well, thats what i heared'.......

what kills me about this is: they're talking about this as if it is documented fact with evidence of every millisecond...and yet it is word of mouth and rumors which 9/10 times are bullcrap....

and it also kills me in the sence......why the hell do i care!.... makes me laugh and cry

so my thought....has this ever happened to you.....OR are you the person who does that!
post a comment either way!

CRA !!! XD XD



oh p.s.....tis my birthday 2mz so i want everyone who reads this to post a comment ON HERE about the blog, just to let me know people do actually blog....consider it your present to me :P

at my own risk

howdy y'all

reluctantly i sit and type.....not quite sure about what yet, this coulds turn into a very ad-hoc and disjointed blog..... or could be structured (accidentally, i promise)

frstly.....that thunder storm was wild.... personally, i love them. they light up the world in a way that gives such a dramatic, tense view of an otherwise beautifull landscape.... and the fear of destruction adds to the excitement....

secondly.... i dont have one..... yes that's correct....this blog (ive now decided (its amazing: you can actually see my thought processes, as im typing!....fucked up eh? :P )), is going to be a filler...just for me to be able to say, 'yes, ive kept to my rule of 1 every 2 days'..... and by the way, i seem to be the only fuka posting regular blogs!

WTF HAPPENED TO THE REST OF YOU! KEEP UP EN :P

(gawd like)


and straight into....thought for the day!
kinda sad today guys:

michael jackson was taken into hospital earlier today after being found unconcious and not breathing at his home in LA. he was resuscitated at his home but he later died in hospital.
so my thought for the day is, did you like MJ? whats your favourite song (everyone's got one, even if they dont like the guy....if you say no, i say LIAR)...... what will you remember of him?


CRA

miss you michael

the headline act!

as a lot of you know, ive been fairly pissed with the world in general, over the past two days.... if i take it out on you.... im sorry (unless you're the faggin cause of it)

this rage and anger has been the result of the bad parts of the past year... i enjoy the good parts and suppress the bad... therefore i need the occasional outburst to keep me fairly sane.... (its my way....ineffective?: probably..... socially better?: for most of the year)

i think the thing that ive realised is that, i run on empty for most of the year..... my 'humor', although bland and frankly pathetic (consisting of inuendo's and snide comments), seems to be mustered up through sheer will power that i get from my really close mates.... for this, thanks guys..... you really are the only thing that keeps me going sometimes.

so, today im going to talk about myself (vain, i know :P)....and my stress levels:

so....as alot of my very close friends will tell you, it does take a hell of a lot to boil my blood (this isnt boasting, i just have a naturally high tolerance to people talking shit, and acting like dickheads)...... so you may (or may not) be interested to know that this week, several groups of people have succeded in making me feel the lowest common denominator.

lets begin :D
1) the group of people that think noise pollution is something other people make
2) the people who think just because they are above me in some way (not sexually im affraid), they also have the greater moral capability and also the ability to tell me im wrong....also failing to show me whats right.. (you people are just fucking special)
3) people who try and guilt trip me into doing something/saying something, like appologise, for things such as my behaviour, attitude, general feeling towards rules in a given situation...
4) people who start every conversation with the word 'dude'
5) my attitude because of the above (i do hate feeling like this)
.....ps..... this is just a flavour

one thing particularly this week, that seems to be getting to me is attention seekers: this breed of people seem to have the apparent inteligence to work out that if they seem sad and depressed for long enough, someone will look at them and give a shit.....this has the opposite effect on me.... you got a problem, tell me and i'll care..... if you assume i'll try get it out of you, i wont give a rodents rectum.
(btw, im not contradicting myself here..... im not asking for sympathy or anything.... i dont want the attention: im meerly trying to work through my own lil problems on my own..... but i wont hide it if asked)

also.......a pet peve: moaning.....if you're going to bitch about someone, fucking go for it! say names, tell me who's a slag, i dont give a toss....hit me with everything you've got.......i dont give a shit! but.....for the love of god and my sanity.....do not sit there with a pianed look on your face as if you're about to burst into tears, and tell me theres nothing wrong...... bollocks.
let me just clear the air here.....if there is something wrong, i guarentee you, 2 out of 3 people, i will gladdly help without further question or comment.....however....if getting the information from you is like getting a bodily fluid from a rock, then quite frankly, why the fuck should i care?


rant over :D

thought for the day

today in st martins, i got told off in their library for playing music on my phone, while NO-ONE else was in there.....i wasnt impeeding anyones working or disrupting them in any way..... and the librarian herself was doing her hair at this time.....
she came out of her little side office, into the library and said, 'what do you think your doing!....i cant believe you're doing that!.... how cheeky!'
i basicly sat there and said sorry miss at the appropriate times....not really knowing what else to do, while stiffling a laugh......

so my question for you: have you ever been shouted at, in a public convinience....ie: library, toilet, cinema...whatever

love you all (unless i hate you....or dislike you....or like you, but not in a way befitting the word/title, love.....etc)

CRA

the day after the night before.....

and so it seems another party, and another pissup.....featuring yet more hilarity as i get phone calls off drunken people telling im (quote) 'a priiiiickkkk cosh i didn teacsh guitarin to meee'(unquote)..... all im saying is his name began with B and ended with ENJAMINE.

and so to buisiness: gwyn, great party dude. nice 1 :D

and further to this act of kind words..... i did think that, earlier in the week, it was amazing that the Manic Street Preaches opened a new library in cardiff. this was brought about by the song 'design for life', where the first lyrics (i was fookin amazed when i realied this) are 'libraries give us power'!

fair do's like...brill song mind



now.....as i was saying......bed!
my bed is singularly my favourite place on the planet (not my bed physically, just the psycology of 'this is my bed for the night', regardless of shape, size or location)
it's a romance that has followed me all my life, and one that i doubtless think will remain with me for the duration of my time on this shit heap of a rock....(lovely thought)

(sorry, this is gona be a short one tonight coz i feel as though i should put my bed to good use)



straight into it: thought for the day
does anyone else think that the stig (revealed as michael schu... u know :P) was FAKEEE....
he cant be the bloody stig.....can he?....... FFS HE'S GERMAN!!!!......... and this dear friends is top gear.... no self respecting car lover could possibly employ a german..... they're far too precise!
gawd man!- this throws my entire concept of reality into the fire!

CRA

the profundity in profanity

sweet music in my ears of a summers day, may all my troubles fade away
like the chorus of the morning bird; now is gone: need not say a word...

or something like that :P






welcome dear fellows to another thrilling installment of 'look who cant spell words with more than 3 syllables'! today we'll be looking into dyslexia, and why it affects people (more specificly, me....but only when i'm writing blogs...)

but first, an appology: im sorry..... my last blog depressed some of you who read it (well its only going to be those who read it....durr). it was an emotional outburst which i will try and keep to myself....i realise that some of you readers (though few) must be wondering why im not funny anymore....well, for this, i also appologise....and i also say, 'fack off and what a comedian' :D

and so to business ladies and jellyspoons..... what a day to be alive hey XD
and have you heared........Ayatollah Khamenei thinks the UK is evil and unacceptable.....
i couldnt agree more you bastard

just check out this video on the BBC website:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8109303.stm

shit.......
so lets get this straight: the americans won the war in iraq..... we arent very good in the olympics..... we usually suck at eurovision..... (we pretty much fail at most things)..... BUT.....we are THE MOST evil western country.... (a small victory i feel XD......go us! (no not US) )

last time i checked, evil was a matter of perspective, and to condemn someone to the status of evil was both slanderous and fucking mean.... i reacon we should start a war against Ayatollah Khamenei .... not iran..... just him...

launch all of the UK and US's best military wepons, and aim them at his house....or cave.... whatever (yes this can be mildly construed as racisum.....but look, im still writing so this must prove something....i dont actually give a toss)

who want BBQ :P




no back to the usuall, less depressive, 'thought for the day!!!!!!'

short and sweet:
is it me, or does Grace Jones look like a transvestite....and a bad 1 at that.....
just look at this picture (adding pics doesnt work today for sum bloody inconvinent reason)
http://www.kalamu.com/bol/wp-content/content/images/grace%20jones%2015.jpg



so.....as ever: CRA (comment, rate, appreciate)