twice in one day

i know, i know.... im becoming annoying already

thing is, im going to try and actually blog some feelings every now and then....this is the point most of you will click the happy little X in the corner....

so basicly, im going to be as vague as humanly possible, conveying as little information as possible, in the hope that while not saying a word of sence, im making my point and this in turn will make me feel better...... that's the theory....

SSOOOOO...... i was reminded of something today via the medium of a picture of something i thought was gone for good.... a small virus in my mind that i thought i'd killed off, but apparently not.... given the right conditions, it seems that even something small can come back and knock you down.

now, i like to live IN the present and FOR the future.... the past has past, so leave it alone and only learn from it..... but this has got to me, and has been for ages... literally years. any time i forget, im reminded....

how is it that i can forget some truly traumatic things like nearly dying....a few times..... but i cant forget this one infintesimal blip on my proverbial radar.... the memory angers me, and it angers me because i remember it.... and then it saddens me....

if there is a god (or a therapist)... i need your help....
talk to you all properly soon

up in the air, where wise words fall with haste and grace, where the air is crisp and clear,
the sounds of the cars on the motorways below and the proud engine, huming in your ear,
the vast expanse of nothingness, and the infinity of the horizon and beyond,
the 'never needing to pull over' if you've done something wrong,

no ques, no jams, no sets of lights to impeed you on your way,
the many miles from you and me, passing every day,
to look down on his creation and to smile and say 'its mine',
to take a breath of adventure, knowing its not a waste of time,

for some things cant be taught anywhere you live,
and some you may not know untill you die,
but where ever you find extacy, hold it through and through,
like i found my euphoria in the sky.