I need determination

Hello bitches and bitchettes

How are we all doing? It seems forever since we all got together like this, doesn't it... i miss those days, where we would just sit around telling stories and pretend we knew what the hell we were talking about.... -shifty-

in all seriousness i have failed blogger. i have become the thing i hate the most: a NON-blogger!!
i have tried time and time again to write substantial quantities of material to incorporate into my blog, but failed to actually log on and put it from paper to pixels. it's not that i dont love you any more, it's just i find it wholeheartedly depressing to turn my computer on and just sit here in my bed and tap drivel to you fine people. i know i talk utter bollocks 99% of the time, and you dont deserve this kind of punishment...no-one does.
so with this, im going to attempt to write a blog with some form of structure and basis of opinion. im sorry...

school is going well. ive never professed to being any sort of academic, and this is shown in the fact ive had to go back to repeat my chemistry a-level. i really want to do well in this. the problem i have right now is the motivation i had is diminishing due to the lack of motivation of some people around me. i need the support of some people and right now im not getting it. i need a kick up the arse and to be given conditions to work under. it works with little kids: "do your homework and then you can go out to play". the reason it works is because those little kids then have suitable reason to do what they need to do. without reason it just becomes another thing to do. i NEED reason. i NEED the high motivation. right now it's being taken from me, and im running out. so instead of feeding off of other people's so that i can give back in return, im left here wondering why i cant be arsed to do my coursework.

work is also going well, however free pizza is catching up with my fitness levels and i really need to construct a worthwhile training regime. im still healthy, but my fitness has died. this, i need to address.
also, i want a job with better pay. add to that, i want a social life again, and you have a pretty good idea of what im facing. i work minimum wage and i dont get to see my friends as much as i want. parties are a rarity and i cant really afford to go to them anyway because of one thing or another.

cadets is something i will address when i start back there on the 10th. i still hold the rank of sergeant, and i intend to use it properly over the next year. this will mean that i will be a hard sergeant from now on and because of this, the cadets will not like me, but because of this they will learn. they will not be given the option of sitting out of activities. they will participate in events and oppertunities. if they do not wish to do so, they can go home. the ATC does not want people who do not want the ATC. i will make them into cadets, one way or another.

my car is still being taken the absolute piss out of. however, i do not think i give a toss anymore. it still runs well. it still gets me to work and back. and it still gets me to exeter and back, even though it consumes about £35 worth of fuel every trip, which is depressing.

i do believe that part one of my entire life has been shown sufficiently enough for one day...

bye everybody.