IM INTERNATIONAL!!!!

just a quick little note to say that thanks to the new 'STATS' bar, i can see that i've had views from not only the UK, but the USA, Denmark, and Vietnam!!

i just have one question to anyone who views this who doesnt know me.... how did you find my blog :P

dont get me wrong, im not complaining.. im an attention seeker at the best of times.. but i find it fascinating that from half the world away, all be it through potential accident, people have found me.

like i said, this was supposed to be a quick blog so i shall end here ish...

one last thing before i go though: would anyone care if i did a Vlog? i was toying with the idea before but never got around to it.

also, ANYONE can now comment on this blog. its no longer restricted to member commenting only.

CIAO

back in the saddle?

achem... lets see if i remember how to do this thing

hello boys and girls, welcome back to the rantings of 'that guy' who doesn't do much with his time. yes, this is the blog that maintains that if sarcasm is indeed the lowest form of wit, then here we scrape the dregs from the bottom of each and every barrel. hell, it's a job

so what have we, by which i mean me, done in the last 6 months...

in a nutshell, not a great lot.

I've finished school with an impressively poor set of A-level results; started to sort my cadet career out and now i like to think that i'm in serious contention for promotion (against myself); i got a job working in dominos pizza as a delivery boy (god, this is where i wanna be...); and i have been driving down to exeter now and then.

oh yes, and today, due to a long and boring explination about how the government are currently fucking over each of her majesty's forces, i have tried to go back to st cenydd to redo my chemistry A-level to go from a pitiful grade to a respectable one.

so that is my life: 4 areas of concentration; cadets, work, school, exeter. i've condensed what i had by so much it scares me.

money... a thing i didnt have before, is also becoming something fun to own for however brief a time i may possess it. hours in work, to gain access to this fountain of fun, is however, a bitch to sort out, with me swapping my hours and days more times than i change my underwear...(think about that for a second and ask yourself, 'can we still be friends?')

friends... with everyone going in their separate directions for university and other fascinating voyages of discovery, i do feel as if i've been left somewhat behind. this isnt such a bad thing however because after those clever dickies invented the interweb 5000, i can keep up with people and still maintain a pretty good social life :) i've driven to swansea to meet up with gwyn and sarah once and i've made friends in exeter too :) this makes me feel as if life hasnt run away from me and there is hope of keeping my dear friends, dear.

im happy to say that there are no significant problems in my life right now apart from some family being a bit under the weather, and certain very good mates of mine being in some not very good places right now. otherwise i cant be sad. my life, in perspective with some around me, isnt as bad as i moan about. i feel incredibly lucky, if betrayed sometimes by people...but even then it could be worse... im welsh, not english for example.

this is where i want to pretty much want to wrap it up... im sorry to those who i've not been a great friend to, im grateful to those who've kept me as a great friend, and i love you all. in a gay way.

ciao dudes

the tipping point

ok, it's official...i'm no longer scared to enter the big bad world of work.... i just want to leave this fucking place....

this morning has been the straw that broke that proverbial 4 legged, desert dwelling, creature's back. my ICT coursework. on memory stick. got run over and broken. by all means lol.... god knows i did
needless to say it's a years worth of work down the tube... and yes i did back it up but another series of failures has led me to believe that god truly does shit on me.

so this has culminated in my mood being fragile, and i do appologise in advance if i have a go at anyone or say anything particularly horrible.

anyways, in slightly happier news, for me... my first exam is like a month away :)

-here enter the stress-

it started off fine....

....and in the end, i had to draw 3 separate diagrams, play with some matches, and send a complaints dvd to nasa, just to prove that you cant play jenga like that....


hello again my fellow homosapiens

its cloudy -.- i dont like it.

i havnt really got anything to discuss today, or even elaborate upon...maybe i should try harder to get a job.....
anyhoo, ive just decided to ask a simple question:

Formspring:
can someone explain to me why someone thought it would be a good idea to have an annonomus (excuse any spelling catastrophies) questions site that would enevitably end up filled with slander and bitching and general misery for half the users?

how much abuse gets put on there every day?

and finally, why do we keep the accounts, even though we receive these intollerable questions?


ciao bambinos

i'm a nerd (1)

well howdy.

firstly, camping.... didnt think it was too shabby for something we threw together in an hour :P all gurd :)
and gwyn touched a chicken in the end...bravo gwyn


yeah, anyways, i have a friend who has recently been asking me alot about black holes and the threat they pose to us: since ryan wont accept my answer of, 'NONE WHATSOEVER right now'.... i've had to go into some details.

the big one!
firstly, scientists believe the only threat to the galaxy is from a black hole in the centre of the milky way...and it's not hungry right now (in leymans terms). even if it was, we're 30,000 light years from it.

that's:
30 000 x (9.4607x10^12) = 2.83821x10^17..... or to write it in full: 2,838,210,000,000,000,000 km
in other words, we're safe..

the odd one
i was also asked how big the planets would need to be in order to form black holes in our solar system. this is, im sure, down to the fact i told him about the 'Schwarszchild radius'.

the schwarzschild radius is the maximum radius an object would need to be in order for a non-rotating, uncharged, black hole to form. any bigger than the radius and the object doesnt collaps into a black hole.... any smaller and the object becomes so dense that the escape velocity exceedes that of the speed of light... hence it becomes a black hole.
it can be calculated by this equation:

Rs=(2GM)/c^2

Rs is the schwarzschild radius
G is gravitational constant
M is mass of the object
c is the speed of light

so i worked them out :)

the sun- 2.949 km
mercury-0.487 mm
venus-7.21 mm
earth-8.86 mm
mars-0.952 mm
jupiter-2.815 m
saturn-84.3 cm
uranus-12.9 cm
neptune-15.2 cm

and there you go.

there are 3 other types of black holes that exist, but this is just one type. i cant be arsed to do all the workings out tonight

now i've done my maths, im off.
CIAO

how wrong is this dude?

hey

with regards the question in the title, i'll get to that later... for now, i just want to say, april fools day was shockingly poor for me...

i got 'pranked' about 3 times, all after the 12 oclock mark, which technically means they're assholes now. the fact i was pranked doesnt make me feel upset or anything, and please dont perceve this as me being a bad sport: i can take a joke...when it's funny

the thing that made me feel as though april fools day was crap again was my second prank of the day where one of my 'friends' decided that they would prank me by saying that their mother had been taken into hospital in a coma after being beaten and raped.... (i'll just let that sit with you for a second)

yes, dear friends, this is why Tony Davidson from western-supermare is my Douchebag For The Day!

if you were wondering, the first 2 pranks were someone telling me they were gay (it was the delivery that made it crap), and someone who told me they took my phone when i had it in my hand.....ino...(yeah ino)



and so we move to the title story (worthy of bold)!!!!!
i swear to god that if i hadnt given out my douchebag of the day award, i would give it to this guy... it's one of those videos that you just want to turn off because he's being so stupid and blind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7F5kYWceTsI

please watch, and please... dont face-palm yourselves.


goodnight vienna, we love you
CIAO

ah, the perfect amount of drunk

so, last night: the 'social gathering of friends' which was totally not a party, was pretty damn good. in fact, it's my personal opinion that last night's 'SGoF' was one of the best NON-partys in a VERY long time....

i believe this is due to the fact there were no people slandering or ridiculing or just being plain nasty, to people...it was a relaxed atmosphere where we could just be mates without fear of backdraught in the morning. if camping is like that, then it should be good, and i actually look forward to it.

and so to tomorrow.... the cock up performed by the chemistry department has ment that we, as chemistry students, need to go into school for tomorrow and blow shit up..... (alternativly we'll just have to do a really long and boring experiment with the presumption that this one actually bloody works...)

so A-level chem students will be unavailable between the hours of 10 AM and whenever Bevan lets us go...

and here i leave you...this week shall be a diary entry week kinda thing. CIAO for now bizatches.


and just random bit here..... tony blair now sounds kinda american :S tell me im not the only one.....?

the imortal wordings of a no-body

hey hey everybody. i hope if you went to the party last night you're all ok now...if not, more fool you :)

im starting up a lil ranting thing, pretty much stealing the idea from 'grumpy old men'.
so today i thought i'd mention (off the back of last night) alcohol


all you seem to see in newspapers and magazines is alcohol abuse mixed with teenagers. this fun combination seems to attract worldwide attention and none in the possitive aspect. i believe firmly that the reason people get pissed is because of two very distinct reasons:

1) they're douchebags
2) they dont respect alcohol.

now respect for anything essentially deadly is critical. if you dont respect it you end up fucking ill or doing something you wish you hadnt. its a fun life really, and if you want to spoil the party by blowing chunks and passing out.... well.... good for you, you fit the stereotype of a douche :)

however, if you're the person who, by contrast, knows their limits and doesnt try and get totally wrecked so you wanna do anything with a pulse, then well done... by contrast, you are boring and will probably never need your stomach pumped.... a waste of a good night, eh?

so my question for the day is, which catagory do you fall into?
thought for the day: where's the asprin?

CIAO

well you know how i work by now

yes dear folks im blogging, which means only one thing: this is my last resort....

i came home early from the party (epic, and i loved the first couple of hours :) ), coz it turned into an event where i didnt feel comfortable.... basicly, it wasnt my scene.

also certain people seem drunk to the extent im no longer laughing with or at them, i just want to leave them alone and prey to god nothing happens.

otherwise, happy birthday mair ily lots like jelly tots XD

and happy birthday liam for tomorrow/today :) x (special present later ;P )

CIAO

how to deny reality

well seeing as though we could all do with closing the door for a bit and just taking some 'chill time' (and no, liam, that does not mean 'special YOU time'...), i decided to write this lil' plan of what to do if you need to escape, just for a while....

as you all know, shit does inevitably happen to the best of us (myself included), and there is no easy way of taking it. not one. some shit really does hit the fan and fly everywhere...the trick is getting out of the way in time so you dont get covered.

so, lets take a normal garden everyday situation....and then lets just say something bad happened beacuse i cant (frankly) be arsed to think of a semi-complex situation that wont ultimatly end up with at least one of my friends thinking, 'why did you write a blog about me'...
anyhoo, something bad has happened and you need to shut everything out and (as the title suggests) deny reality:

lets start off with the simple, 'no'.
it's an easy enough concept to grasp and as soon as you get into a situation which warrents it, im sure you'll use it to great effect.
the basic premise is to say no, alternatly, to the other person or persons involved in your conversation.
exempli gratia:
'i just heared what you said about me..'
'no i didnt'
'but i heared it..'
'no you didnt'
'i did, didnt i?'
'no you didnt...la de da de da'

by the end of this, not only do you convince yourself that the event never took place, but you also convince people around you too! that's the simple beauty of it all, you cant go wrong....unless the answer to the question is no, and in which case you should always just jump straight to 'la de da de da'.
but the main thing to take away is REPITITION IS KEY.

secondly, try the old 'close your eyes and melt away from the situation'.
rather effective at meetings and in intimate settings where you'd rather not be. all you do, is close your eyes and think of something else/somewhere else and imagine you're there. you may find clutching the bottom of a chair tightly, increases balance and stability while you're away with the fairies. music also helps to block out the irritating sound of conversation around you, and focus's your mind with great precision to give the effect that you are actually at an MCR gig.

thirdly (and before we get into this, i know it's a bit extreem and there's absolutly no going back from this, so you need to work out if this really is the best option and weigh up all the options no matter how small or insignificant they may seem....this really is the last resort and no going back)



you can always go and hang out with mates and just chill. real mates. proper mates. mates that dont shit on you anytime you do something bad.... revert to the good-old-days where friends helped friends, and you could beat your kids....
deny reality by being with the people time stands still for....so much so you get shouted at by your mum for being late home for tea. remember those days when reality was a myth?
if you can go back to those times... you've found the way to deny reality right there.

for justice, freedom, and america

it is a firm belief of mine that fat people and pharmasutical companies are both the same in certain aspects:

they are both immoral and driven by greed! (you show me otherwise....)


fat people are immoral because they knowingly fill themselves up with heart clogging, waist expanding, anus filling, causing-under-tit-sweat.... food. by doing so, they allow a potential evil to set foot in their lives.... heart disease being just one of them... being ugly is another..

as a result of this gluttony, they cause stress and strain on the NHS which would otherwise be using their services to provide healthcare for those who arent fat bastards and need to be saved.


(oh and if you pin all the blame on that 'glandular' problem, thats fine..... but get your fat arse out of the line at KFC ffs...)

and obviously, they are both driven by greed coz one wants cash and the other wants dohnuts.



Question for the Day

in other news, on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the most and 1 being the least), how sad is it to drink alone? post below!



well thats about it from me today, sports fans, but remember... santa's always watching, so make sure you comment or dont expect to wake up to any shoes tomorrow.


CIAO

all i needed was fight

if she reads this then good. ive just said what i needed to say to make you see how much im hurting inside.

to all those who dont know, im in love with beth ralph. for a few weeks now, ive been trying to adapt to the fact she has a very close male friend.... as you can tell this was not good for me. after i saw texts from these two i pointed out that this was not what i could deal with and i actually accused her of cheating on me with said friend. apparently i was wrong and i accept this..

later that week she did cheat on me with two different guys. i also accepted that this was more than i should have to deal with. i didnt walk away however because i do love her more than i could ever express in words. i brushed it asside.

however, the one thing my mind cannot get my head around is the closeness of beth and her friend. the reason: they have history and yet even though i am the boyfriend, she still flirts with him like they are going out with each other. i cant deal with it. if it's me being immature then fine, i am so so sorry and i cant tell you how much you dont deserve me.... but if it's not just me, then surly we should both have to adapt....

i'll stop yo-yo ing

hello to one and all.

i realise that recently ive been switching between a possitive blog and a negative blog almost alternately... well this ends. i will try to write in the best frame of mind possible at the time.

so in light of this, i'm absoluty chuffed that msn has got its act together and let my update my name :)
im kinda miffed that cadets was crap tonight, but on the upside, i get to go skiing next thursday so good good.
and finally, im catching up in IT which has been a bitch to me for WEEKS now... all starting to go right.

please, nothing ruin my friday, saturday or sunday? x
lew

wow.... :(

today has been my 'epic fail day'. im pretty sure we all have them, but mine seemed to be particularly epic....

i failed my driving test thanks to nerves which would have been subsided prior to my test if it hadnt have been for my instructor turning up 3 minutes AFTER the examiner had called my name....safe to say i didnt have the hours recommended lesson before commencing the test, and i subsiquently shat about 5 bricks as i started the engine finally... next time, my instructor is paying for my test.

also ive said something in the wrong way to someone i care about dearly, and i think ive hurt them somewhat... so if you somehow read this, i am so sorry, it didnt mean it to come out like that and i trust you completly and utterly.

now im feeling like a douche who should announce things AFTER i think about what to say, and im gutted. very very gutted, and very....unhappy

love it when a plan comes together

plain and simple one today...more of a diary extract than a blog...

ive had an absolutly fantastic afternoon/evening with beth (hope she liked it too... (please god lmao))
an evening to remember xx

from dispare to where

hello everybody, how's life

seems that as one good thing happens, something (quite inkeeping with Newton here) opposite and just as bad takes effect.

well that sucks. and ive realised today that i need to grow up and speak whats truly on my mind, come hell with the consiquences. holding back everything doesnt seem to bode well with me. this, however, doesnt imply that i'll be arguing more, in fact this should lead to the opposite.

im starting to think that people around me are making mistakes, or have made mistakes, and i'm just there as fallout of said action. i can saftly say that i only regret one thing in my entire life... i dont know how many people around me can say the same.

i dont want to get in the way or be there just because im stray and will do for now...in all contexts and situations i find myself in

my name is lewis, and i'm still an alcoholic...and proud

of course im not, i cant afford alcohol.


A RANT DEAR PEOPLE OF INTERNETLAND

im coming to the conclusion that no-matter who you are or how old you are, you will always be lonely and sad and depressed, all because your havnt found that special someone in your life...

.... this is of course the perception anyone would have, after looking at half of the contacts on my MSN list....

it's a curious fact that these girls and boys on here are of different ages and different backgrounds...and yet they are all united under the fact that they dont have 'the love of their life', even though they are sad and depressive and...irritating... and half of them havnt even hit puberty yet..... strange how 'their life just isnt complete', isnt it..?

-enter sarcasm here...or basicly anywhere in the last paragraph-

(some being in their 20's while some only being 10 or so -FYI i'm not like gwyn, i've mearly got their addy's by coaching them or them being family-)



another thing i really cant stand on msn or any social networking site, is when people insist upon publishing their sex lives.... really? on msn? on facebook? who the hell cares if you need a shag?! and for god sake, dont give your number in a 'last-ditch' attempt..... YOU'RE FUCKING 12/13! your're not supposed to even think about sex yet...
and if you ARE the kind of person who's said this at that age, then well done to you, i hope you get that council house and all the dole money you could hope for... well done


IN OTHER NEWS

is there any other news? snowing a bit, threatening a few things potentially like mine and trev's driving test.... otherwise, not much...

oh yeah, and i cant find any of my damn guitar picks.... i blame chuck norris, but daren't confront him with the issue...

erm... yeah thats it.
CIAO


'so? i stereotype...... it's quicker'

bi-polar atm

hey, had to get this off my chest:

i am so so damn happy right now because of beth. i love her. simple as.

i'm also so insainly angry that something will give very soon. i will kill him if i see him, ever.
sorry.

i'll blog properly later

twice in one day

i know, i know.... im becoming annoying already

thing is, im going to try and actually blog some feelings every now and then....this is the point most of you will click the happy little X in the corner....

so basicly, im going to be as vague as humanly possible, conveying as little information as possible, in the hope that while not saying a word of sence, im making my point and this in turn will make me feel better...... that's the theory....

SSOOOOO...... i was reminded of something today via the medium of a picture of something i thought was gone for good.... a small virus in my mind that i thought i'd killed off, but apparently not.... given the right conditions, it seems that even something small can come back and knock you down.

now, i like to live IN the present and FOR the future.... the past has past, so leave it alone and only learn from it..... but this has got to me, and has been for ages... literally years. any time i forget, im reminded....

how is it that i can forget some truly traumatic things like nearly dying....a few times..... but i cant forget this one infintesimal blip on my proverbial radar.... the memory angers me, and it angers me because i remember it.... and then it saddens me....

if there is a god (or a therapist)... i need your help....
talk to you all properly soon

up in the air, where wise words fall with haste and grace, where the air is crisp and clear,
the sounds of the cars on the motorways below and the proud engine, huming in your ear,
the vast expanse of nothingness, and the infinity of the horizon and beyond,
the 'never needing to pull over' if you've done something wrong,

no ques, no jams, no sets of lights to impeed you on your way,
the many miles from you and me, passing every day,
to look down on his creation and to smile and say 'its mine',
to take a breath of adventure, knowing its not a waste of time,

for some things cant be taught anywhere you live,
and some you may not know untill you die,
but where ever you find extacy, hold it through and through,
like i found my euphoria in the sky.

a blast from the past

hello to one and all, a happy christmas, new year, honika, whatever.....

before you ask, yes writing this did hurt... it's taken literally minutes to remember how this old thing works, and yes.... i did forget my password..

since we last crossed paths, alot has happened to me.... new double bed (omg the shiz), PS3 (im already annoying people by playing far too much COD), and a new general outlook on life. it's all groovy baby

passed my theory too, the wednesday before crimbo, which im sure damn near all of you knew about and have all ceased to give a toss as we've all done with everyone else who's passed it.... its the MOST feable step towards driving.... looking at a screen for up to an hour and clicking if something bad happens, and guessing the right box to tick..... such a thorough examination...

now, ive touched on my MA-HOO-SIVE gap between my last blog and this... truth is, i got very very bored of it. bored of my own writing. i find if i try one thing for too long i get incredibly sloppy... not just in spelling, but everything about it becomes bland.... its like keeping a diary: we all fill in the first 6 pages, and then we get bored after january 7th, and put it behind something for the next 358 days when we realise that we need a new one...and the cycle continues.

sparadic blogging is the only way i could be true to reality and yet stay relativly exciting....

then again..... who needs reality when imagination is just as vivid...

see you soon