the problem with.....part 5

in a return to this series of things that either annoy me, make me think 'bugger', or just make everyone else go 'well thats something i dont give a toss about!'......welcome back
i hope you got a return coz i aint payin the bus fare....

to break us back into this obscene series again, i was going to talk about the problems of puberty...but quickly realised it could be summed up in one word.........

its SHIT.


so instead, im gona chat about something thats dear to me in so many ways... something i have always had an affection for... something that i dont think i COULD'nt write about:
the mexican football commentator!




or not......holiday romances (fitting as ive just got back from hols.........you didnt remember?......u son of a bitch.....)

holiday romances are defined as ones that you dont even consider taking home with you...if you do, then this is no longer a HOLIDAY romance (please try to keep up). there are certain priorities when selecting your potential romancer....

1) clean~~cant have fleas or any diseases that you can take home (the idea is you leave all the evidence with your key as you leave the hotel)

2) not a stalker~~ again, can track you down when you get home..... AVOID

3) not a heavy drinker (if you need liquour to help you)~~ if you end up under the table before she does, you have no control of your destination.... could be her room, could be your room, could be the floor you fell on, you stupid S.O.B.


so thats advice......what to do if you want to get them to notice you though?
well... firstly you could wait for them to make the first move (never works you pussy), or you could get things moving...

i have a younger brother....perfect. what you do is tell him to go and talk to the girl you like and get him to tell her that you like her.....when he's done this, acknowlage what he's done, and tell her you're sorry about him, then ask how she is....thus entering the first conversation: welcome to the world of oppertunities.....if you fuck it up from here, its YOUR fault and you should be locked away as an arse forever...or till your flight.

thats what works for me anyways :P
enjoy

thought for the day bitch!
whats goin on people, wher ya all to, wher ya all go....youv all buggerd off for a bit without me... im lonly :(
so where would you recommend going on holiday? thats the question. if you can give a reason with your answer, i wont think of you as a pompus ass, and it may actually help people, so be detailed if you can be arsed.

night night kiddies