life's a beach.....

today, i thought, 'what the hell, i fancy a sex change'....so i went to the sea side :D

cold, wet, tired, risking hypothermia......but we're british, so we marched on, with a smile on our face and fire in our hearts..... till people started getting REALLY cold.....then we thought a tactical retreat was in order...

unfortunatly, the sanctity of sanity was fully booked, so we had to make do with a wet stretch of concrete....with guitars, food, and a football we stumbled upon....probably had AIDS on it, but we had a laugh!.... :P
was fun though...great time with great people. me and gwyn and jullian are official lovers by the way.

i wanted to talk about bed, today. the best invention since the condom. a place where anything can happen, from a first kiss, to building a little fort....watching tv, to watchin tv over the shoulder of the person you're having sex with...

bed is the only place you can feel warm and cozy and safe....untill it gets too hot and you realise its on fire...
you can curl up in it in the mornings and regress to a time when things were a damn sight simpler.....like aged 6 :P
dream in complete silence....or holding the person you love...its all gurd :D
just dont do a....yes thats right...-insert fanfair-.. a 'michael jackson'





and now for something different (here ends the funny):

tonight, im not going to leave you with a 'thought for the day'. instead im going to leave you with its brother: 'question for the day'

unfortunatly, i do feel this is cliched in all aspects....but i had to ask: has anyone had the 'perfect moment'? the space of time that you want to stop and re-live, but never change a thing....the one time in your existance that you fully appreciate everything, and see things as they are: how they are supposed to be perceived....and yet you are content with the world around you...not needing to question the wonder and unfathomable beauty of the landscape, the emelents, the company, and (at the heart of it) life.

if i told you that i had, i'd be a liar. to be enitrly honest....and to shatter the thoughts of others with my unquestionably high standards in this aspect....i dont think, annalysing everything, that i've even been in love at all.....let alone experienced perpetual bliss.
(a depressing concept that has made me feel hollow....but a true understanding of my mind and soul.)

to be allowed to enter my life, you have to be special. i have a thing about people who upset others.... if you do one thing to annoy me, then i do keep it locked inside.... if you persist in your annoyance, i let you know...... i have a very good memory and i am very good at lying to someones face. (something i am both proud and disgusted at myself about)

you call me hun, sexy, babe, darlin.....i judge you..... and more often than not, i have to resist the urge to walk away. i act. thats the only reason i am friends with several people. (you really dont know how much some people make me sad....actually sad. why cant we just get along in a way that makes me feel less like walking away from your tone, or the stuff that you say, or the general things that you do....?)

by the way, if i want to be your friend, i'll let you know....and i'll do this in a way that is visible to all... i'll comunicate in a normal way....... however there is a difference in me between friendship and avoiding social awkwardness......eg: i'd give my worst enemy the time, but i wouldnt hang out with him....

welcome to the land of mental perversion, where everthing is distorted in such a way as to make me lie to myself, that everything is ok....ive been doing it for years.... it's so easy to say 'i love you' or 'you really are amazing'....or anything....they're just words! and even the dumbest fool can make a lie seem real, even to himself: to train himself to believe it is fact, like 'i love you'.... only upon annalysing can he truly see what he has done to himself and others.

probably way too much said for one night: good luck digesting....if you so wish...



now....the prosecution has the floor: ........