first thing's first......adam love: true or false?

howdy, hello, for-shizzle-my-nizzle, and congratulations on navigating yourselves once again through cybernetic crap to find this! welcome....to the PEAK of all the cybernetic crap!

so....what do we talk about on this fine day? well i wanted to talk about innocence.....just randomly :D

as far as i can tell, innocence is a matter of perspective: doesnt matter what age you are. innocence is simply a lack of knowlage in whatever aspect of living.....in the workplace, school, local pub, police cell (it was my car, honest guv...)......not just the stereotypical bedroom.....

if someone starts talkin about 'golden showers', only a few of you would have the slightest clue what i ment..... this is innocence. same goes if we were younger and i started talking about babies and you were clueless to what sex was.... (coz c'mon, unless you were born with an obviously abnormal knowlage of maternal practice's, or a fucking good memory....u didnt know either)

this innocence can be a great thing, protecting us from many things like the media and propaganda at an age where we are influenced heavily by the things around us (god forbid a kid grows up with an accute understanding of 'daily mail' perspective...).........

but innocence can also be misinterperated as ignorance and stupidity: if you were in a situation where your house is on fire and you dont know what to do because you are innocent to the situation...you're gona burn like a bitch

all in all i think, and firmly believe we should expose kids to all kinds of shit at a really early age, just to mind fuck them when they are most likely to repress it so they can relive it when they're 40.....cruel, yes......but fun!!!!

and now.....THOUGHT FOR THE DAY!

and its a simple one:

is it me, or has saturday night TV, on the BBC, become the gayest thing since brokeback mountain.....the porno

exhibit A: 'tonight is the night'..... number 1) wtf .... and number 2)

and exhibit B: 'totally saturday'...... 1)totally fucking gay! :L ....and again 2)

now.....welcome to mindfuck

all i can say is thank god we only have 1 saturday a week.....

CRA :D

calon llan.....

hello world, and welcome to an exciting edition of my prestigious blog.....if you get a mention in this, or any other blog; congratulations! you win a prize.....self esteem XD (you have my permission to feel chuffed)

lets do a short and sweet blog today people....im tired and the world seems to be dragging its feet with guilt, depression, recession: commiseration across the nation (and any other shun words you can find in your pretty little heads)

today i wish to highlight a topic close to my heart, and one which is not sexist or elitist in any way.... yes....thats right.... male super sports :P
(sports in general)

nah, what i want to chat to you fellas and fel-lasses, is sport in all its glory. from the village team to the internatonal level, you can get involved in sport at any age...... mostly, these are done at an early age coz hip replacements cost a fuckin bomb for the NHS....

sport, like music, has the ability to form relationships, be them good or bad, and create fantastic team bonding, such as the '99' call* that wales made during the '80's....good times, good times

but i think the praise has to go to the ultimate winners in sport......america!
you see, these folks are amazing because they have won every single year, in the same sport....but lets not get nit picky, they have won the event EVERY YEAR...quite an achivement eh?

oh wait, my mistake, thats absolute bullshit.....they just call it the 'world series'! oh dear....america strikes again.....you know what, i think we should rise up...create a little school team, and challenge them for the title....then they can officially be known as 'world leaders' in baseball.....american football..... and pretty much all the crap sports


and no, coz im too lazy to write any more shit:


thought for the day! (dun da dun!)
brought to you by hovis
(another of my legendary lies...)

ok....pure and simple...... can you have a bread fetish....odd i know, but the point is, is it possible?
and if so, whats the strangest fettish ypu've ever heared of? let me and everyone else know!

as ever....Comment, Rate, Appreciate (CRA!)










*btw for those who care, the 99 call was created by wales in the 80's just in case any fights broke out on the pitch in south africa.....if it was ever called (it was only called once but it was awsome) then every player and fan was to get involved in the biggest fight they wud hav.....against the oppostie team.......it was an organised way of kicking the shit into the other side essentially XD

oh ai, and calon llan can be heard at all major welsh sporting events.....ie: rugby..... hence the title

our main headline tonight: trag...

....when he was found, investigators were baffled as to how he managed to fit that many hamsters up there....a medical mystery, no doubt...

so hello to all the chicks and dudes who so are kind enough to grace me with your presence....it almost turns me on to think your reading this XD

so how are you all? good?....yeah im alright ai, ta :)

isn't it funny, that no matter how many blogs you put up, people only want to read the ones with gratuitous violence and pictures of stupid Americans......naturally, to put these on would be degrading to a blogs integrity and reputation......so keep scrolling down people! :D


i had the urge today (yes it felt very good), to talk to you people about music. music is a wondrous invention, which can trace its origins back to eternity. it has the striking power for make people smile, make people cry, make people love, make people hate....it has such power, and can be manipulated so easily.....its enough to make you want to jizz (in your pants)

and this is what i wanted to talk to you specifically about...(no i dont want to speak of beethoven, bach...not even gilmore, clapton, vai..... not even oasis, killers, kaisers, FOB.....the list goes on and on...).....i want to talk to you about a stream of music people try to tap into to gain pubic support, get people laughing, and get people interested..... this branch is: Comedy RAP... aka: 'CRAP'

this new found way of getting through to the younger generations, was thought about when rap was first on the 'scene', in world war 1......since then, it has developed from the hyme 'slap my bitch up' (first sung in the trenches...a classic im sure you'll agree), to the modern day tosh such as 'ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny'...

(dont have a go at me, i used to like it before one physics lesson.....thanks to someone playing it, it became tedious and tiresome....this person shall remain nameless for legal reasons...)

so thanks to mair destroying my love of 'CRAP' .....i have decided to have a slight snipe at it.....

the point im really trying to make is that comedy raps are all well and good....when done by funny people!.....not the US govenment (i must fancy them or something, coz im on about them all the time!). these cheesy bastards made a rap about cenitor john mackain....('s chips)

anyhoo, these 'musical friggin genious's' decided that a rap would really help him convey his points to the younger american nation.... if i could find the vidio i would put it up, but the only version on youtube got taken down due to legal debate....no shit....coz it really was shit



a word to the bastards set about destroying a once great genre: FUCK OFF AND LEAVE IT TO PEOPLE WITH COMIC TALENT!










now finally, time for 'thought of the day'!

todays thought is brought to you by those almost happy-chappies on the wrong side of the border.....thats right..... the english have made themselves credible respectable citicens once again (almost as credible as my spelling....or how incredibly bad it is!)

two english football fans in Cologne lost their car after mistakenly thinking they had parked it on a road called 'One Way Street'. the pair wrote down 'Einbahn Strasse' - which means one-way street in german- so they didn't forget where they'd left the hire car. but when they came to find it again they found that every second street in the inner city was called 'Einbahn Strasse'.
it was only when they found a policeman that they were told the sign was to inform drivers that they were on a one-way street. they did eventually find they're care.....after the german police got involved, and several hours of looking.....

my question is; is this the problem with the english? (not the loosing things....like the will to live)
are the english so stuck up (i neglect to include the welsh, scots and irish, because we have been forced through the generations to learn fucking english instead of our original languages) that they fail to realise if you dont learn other peoples lanugages, you end up in the shizen... you cant just shout and point.....spreken zie deutsch? no of course you dont you FAGS! you're to lazy to learn 'gracias', so you just point and abuse! then you hope a euro tip is enough to excuse you from this miscariage of horse shit!

thats my rant....what do you think?
comment, rate, appreciate :P

...its a curse...

who let you back in!

i mean.....hello, and welcome to another edition of 'where is the dog'.....but seen as we havnt actually got any footage, just take my word for it....we found the dog.

anyhoo, let me greet you once again, to my jolly discourse, where we take great pride in fondling

the naughty parts of nitty-gritty topics such as sex, politics, and americans (in general, a separate species, in sure you'll agree). those of you who have the key skill of observation will notice that bollocks has yet to be said, with regards to the timings of my blogs being produced..... another 2 days....and another blog..... (i is chuffed XD )

one point of interest i have seen is that apparently these blogs are funny...(?!)....one nutcase has been quoted as saying, 'hillarious!'....she was soon put out of her misery, dont fear.

the only major suprise i have had thus far, in blogging, is the fact that i have found shit to talk about!

and, on the subject of shit talk, today, we will be looking at swearing....

we have many words to show a multitude of emotions and feelings.....but sometimes, damn isnt enough..... the most commonly used of these words is 'FUCK'.....a simple 4 letter word dating back, possibly (if i could be arsed, i would have found out), millions of years.

i think this video shows the versitility of this profound word:

any questions, any queries?

go fuck yourself :D

and now back to the real meat and two veg:

thought of the day mo-fo!

i was stunned and astounded this week by a startling resemblence to the lord jesus christ.....

actually i lied.....i wasnt....

this dear friends is the amitamy of stupidity from the worlds number 1 exporter of crap... america

god bless it, and all who avoid it...

anyways, this chestnut of a story is basicly that some stupidly religious guy, decided that a cheeto was in the shape of christ, and therefore was a sign!!!!!!! (wicked....im convinced) he said at first it looked like a dog, but then turned it upwards and discovered it was in fact......-dun, dun, dun- JESUS!

but wait, there's more!!!!.....this case is not isolated..... there have been several cases of 'cheesus' in the USA, and they all pretty much look like this:

its a shame you cant see the look of sincerity on my face as i try to understand these people....

so my question to you is......what should we do about american christian fundimentalists?

(massive fence around america has my vote)

peace out ya'll

and now to other news.....

ah, lady-boys and gentle-girls, welcome back to my boudoir of lust, greed and envy!

what a glorious day in paradise.....and hasnt been too bad here either :D

today was a mixture of summer sun, rain from spain, and football from where ever football was created. good friends, good conversation and good food/drink (all of which i nicked and scrounged from other people). quite a productive day i feel :)

as you're possible aware (or not, if i havnt told you), every 2 days, i will post to my blog....and every blog will be with regards to a different topic....sexy huh? ;)

today shall be no exception.....and guess what!?!

(just guess, i know you're all dying to know what it is!.........dont scrole down till you've guessed, for the love of god....)

thats almost right! well done!........yes, i have kept a promise and have added to my blog after two whole days!

and now children, allow me to teach you about love....(not in a michael jackson kinda way coz thats just sick, and to assume i would, would be slanderous and silly, because i cant be arsed to walk to each of your houses......i mean.... i have morals)

so........ todays lesson will be taken from the book of lurv......page 472, verse 3, line 17......

'and yay they did playeth footie, under the sun.....decided twas too hot,
under said sun, whereupon one did say to t'other...'fancy comin back to
mine?''

what we can learn from this passage, i feel, is that not only do we, as
humans, fancy a quicky when it gets too hot, but we also play football.....

thats just one example, but you get the jist.....i hope

in my opinion, love is a mixture of raw passion, unfathomable lust, wicked witt, and (in the exceptional case of rihanna and chris brown) some fucked up aggression....

:O omfg i said a naughty word.......well let me tell you something now, the rules of blogging are as free as the rules of love..... its ok when you do it to your blog, but......if you do it on someone elses......people end up dirty, displeased and used..... (not sure where hygine comes into it, but im sure it's theoreticly possible)

i'll be blunt.....love is the shiz.... i like love :P.......its like a rare wine: you see it, you want it..... if you take it, you might break the bottle and loose it forever.....if you walk in on it having sex with your best friend- its probably gone too...

but i do miss it....so....if anyone would like to apply for the possition of either lover (in both contexts), or even perhaps fuck-buddy....please leave a comment :D

but now!!!!!!!

yes dear friends, its time for 'thought of the day'....

todays thought is in two parts and comes from parliament:

1) has anyone ever thought that allister darling's eyebrows are either photo-shopped, or transplants? and...

2) there was the husband of an MP who claimed expenses for 2 pornographic DVD's.... does anyone think he could have been more effective in his spending by either;

• purchasing a stripper so there would be no evidence

or

• bought a mask for his obviously unattractive wife...

as ever: comment, rate, appreciate XD

im out!