I need determination

Hello bitches and bitchettes

How are we all doing? It seems forever since we all got together like this, doesn't it... i miss those days, where we would just sit around telling stories and pretend we knew what the hell we were talking about.... -shifty-

in all seriousness i have failed blogger. i have become the thing i hate the most: a NON-blogger!!
i have tried time and time again to write substantial quantities of material to incorporate into my blog, but failed to actually log on and put it from paper to pixels. it's not that i dont love you any more, it's just i find it wholeheartedly depressing to turn my computer on and just sit here in my bed and tap drivel to you fine people. i know i talk utter bollocks 99% of the time, and you dont deserve this kind of punishment...no-one does.
so with this, im going to attempt to write a blog with some form of structure and basis of opinion. im sorry...

school is going well. ive never professed to being any sort of academic, and this is shown in the fact ive had to go back to repeat my chemistry a-level. i really want to do well in this. the problem i have right now is the motivation i had is diminishing due to the lack of motivation of some people around me. i need the support of some people and right now im not getting it. i need a kick up the arse and to be given conditions to work under. it works with little kids: "do your homework and then you can go out to play". the reason it works is because those little kids then have suitable reason to do what they need to do. without reason it just becomes another thing to do. i NEED reason. i NEED the high motivation. right now it's being taken from me, and im running out. so instead of feeding off of other people's so that i can give back in return, im left here wondering why i cant be arsed to do my coursework.

work is also going well, however free pizza is catching up with my fitness levels and i really need to construct a worthwhile training regime. im still healthy, but my fitness has died. this, i need to address.
also, i want a job with better pay. add to that, i want a social life again, and you have a pretty good idea of what im facing. i work minimum wage and i dont get to see my friends as much as i want. parties are a rarity and i cant really afford to go to them anyway because of one thing or another.

cadets is something i will address when i start back there on the 10th. i still hold the rank of sergeant, and i intend to use it properly over the next year. this will mean that i will be a hard sergeant from now on and because of this, the cadets will not like me, but because of this they will learn. they will not be given the option of sitting out of activities. they will participate in events and oppertunities. if they do not wish to do so, they can go home. the ATC does not want people who do not want the ATC. i will make them into cadets, one way or another.

my car is still being taken the absolute piss out of. however, i do not think i give a toss anymore. it still runs well. it still gets me to work and back. and it still gets me to exeter and back, even though it consumes about £35 worth of fuel every trip, which is depressing.

i do believe that part one of my entire life has been shown sufficiently enough for one day...

bye everybody.

IM INTERNATIONAL!!!!

just a quick little note to say that thanks to the new 'STATS' bar, i can see that i've had views from not only the UK, but the USA, Denmark, and Vietnam!!

i just have one question to anyone who views this who doesnt know me.... how did you find my blog :P

dont get me wrong, im not complaining.. im an attention seeker at the best of times.. but i find it fascinating that from half the world away, all be it through potential accident, people have found me.

like i said, this was supposed to be a quick blog so i shall end here ish...

one last thing before i go though: would anyone care if i did a Vlog? i was toying with the idea before but never got around to it.

also, ANYONE can now comment on this blog. its no longer restricted to member commenting only.

CIAO

back in the saddle?

achem... lets see if i remember how to do this thing

hello boys and girls, welcome back to the rantings of 'that guy' who doesn't do much with his time. yes, this is the blog that maintains that if sarcasm is indeed the lowest form of wit, then here we scrape the dregs from the bottom of each and every barrel. hell, it's a job

so what have we, by which i mean me, done in the last 6 months...

in a nutshell, not a great lot.

I've finished school with an impressively poor set of A-level results; started to sort my cadet career out and now i like to think that i'm in serious contention for promotion (against myself); i got a job working in dominos pizza as a delivery boy (god, this is where i wanna be...); and i have been driving down to exeter now and then.

oh yes, and today, due to a long and boring explination about how the government are currently fucking over each of her majesty's forces, i have tried to go back to st cenydd to redo my chemistry A-level to go from a pitiful grade to a respectable one.

so that is my life: 4 areas of concentration; cadets, work, school, exeter. i've condensed what i had by so much it scares me.

money... a thing i didnt have before, is also becoming something fun to own for however brief a time i may possess it. hours in work, to gain access to this fountain of fun, is however, a bitch to sort out, with me swapping my hours and days more times than i change my underwear...(think about that for a second and ask yourself, 'can we still be friends?')

friends... with everyone going in their separate directions for university and other fascinating voyages of discovery, i do feel as if i've been left somewhat behind. this isnt such a bad thing however because after those clever dickies invented the interweb 5000, i can keep up with people and still maintain a pretty good social life :) i've driven to swansea to meet up with gwyn and sarah once and i've made friends in exeter too :) this makes me feel as if life hasnt run away from me and there is hope of keeping my dear friends, dear.

im happy to say that there are no significant problems in my life right now apart from some family being a bit under the weather, and certain very good mates of mine being in some not very good places right now. otherwise i cant be sad. my life, in perspective with some around me, isnt as bad as i moan about. i feel incredibly lucky, if betrayed sometimes by people...but even then it could be worse... im welsh, not english for example.

this is where i want to pretty much want to wrap it up... im sorry to those who i've not been a great friend to, im grateful to those who've kept me as a great friend, and i love you all. in a gay way.

ciao dudes

the tipping point

ok, it's official...i'm no longer scared to enter the big bad world of work.... i just want to leave this fucking place....

this morning has been the straw that broke that proverbial 4 legged, desert dwelling, creature's back. my ICT coursework. on memory stick. got run over and broken. by all means lol.... god knows i did
needless to say it's a years worth of work down the tube... and yes i did back it up but another series of failures has led me to believe that god truly does shit on me.

so this has culminated in my mood being fragile, and i do appologise in advance if i have a go at anyone or say anything particularly horrible.

anyways, in slightly happier news, for me... my first exam is like a month away :)

-here enter the stress-

it started off fine....

....and in the end, i had to draw 3 separate diagrams, play with some matches, and send a complaints dvd to nasa, just to prove that you cant play jenga like that....


hello again my fellow homosapiens

its cloudy -.- i dont like it.

i havnt really got anything to discuss today, or even elaborate upon...maybe i should try harder to get a job.....
anyhoo, ive just decided to ask a simple question:

Formspring:
can someone explain to me why someone thought it would be a good idea to have an annonomus (excuse any spelling catastrophies) questions site that would enevitably end up filled with slander and bitching and general misery for half the users?

how much abuse gets put on there every day?

and finally, why do we keep the accounts, even though we receive these intollerable questions?


ciao bambinos