in a glaxy far far away, which some may call here, and in a time when bed is calling me from above, untill i get up to its level, whereupon it will be slighly below, i have come to the devistating conclusion that i should get my posterior in gear and partake in the writing of yet more drivle and dispare in a vague attempt at comedy and satire......
the reason for no punctuation is that i am a man attempting to break the world reading record and i feel that punctuation would act as speed bumps in the progression of this shear wonderous piece of crap that i doth beseach before me...... in other words, i cba...
so today i wish to speak of public servants in one form or another..... and concentrate upon lollipop ladies.
the humble lollipop lady (aka, 'traffic bitch'), is often found hanging around school areas when the kids are going in or out. her trademark is wearing yellow, and carrying a faux lollipop, which she uses to entice traffic to stop....
she actually uses it as an attractive looking staff, and shouts at the cars, 'i command you in the name of all that is holy, to either stop at the line or face a firy doom as i shoot you with a massive laser cannon hidden under my hi-vis..... touch these kids and i will touch you....'
so all in all, she is a world class paedofile....attracting small cars and infants to cross and stop by her for a period of time, only present when there is an abundance of children aged 3-15.... and she gets to dress in funky clothes..... my god... the traffic bitch has the best job in the world!
Thought for the day
if you or anyone you know IS a traffic bitch....im sorry... i just wanted you to know..
Question for the day
have you ever been temped to ask a lollipop lady to lick her lollipop?....
Heads-up for the day
school tomorrow.....that vile prison which becons us back into its cold embrace with no remorse or care for mortality, as we sink lower in our chairs, avoiding the teachers (old as the furniature).... only time will tell if it's worth it
but in the here and now, fuck em, and hava laff!
COMENT, RATE, APPRECIATE
XD
pointing out the obvious and oblivious
Sunday, 1 November 2009
Wednesday, 28 October 2009
so, long story short....
....and that's when i found out lola wasn't a woman, 'puff the magic dragon' was subliminally about drugs, and the trusting man with the bike pole up my arse was actually a homosexual....
oh hey there, long time no see.... my god, you're all ugly...
ah well, plastic surgery cost a bomb so you are forgiven.. how the hell are you all?
i'll be honest...recently ive actually been busy and havnt had time to think about blogging. for this, a mortal sin, i shall probaby go to hell....but in the mean time i will maintain blogging about crap.
this in itself is just another lil' petit blog to tide the system over till i can manipulate my cells to conjure up some 'good shit' for you all to absorb like cocaine, leaving you feeling cold and desperate, yet exhilerated and buzzing for hours.... untill it runs out and you feel dirty and ashamed like that hooker i saw in cardiff one day.... my god, what a tramp. if anyone could think of a better use for Mr Muscle, it was on her face....
so basicly.... i'll start writing better blogs if you start cleaning the faces of inner-city prostitues with chemicals, originally designed for use on household surfaces.
thought for the day
im incredibly happy.... what about you?
question of the day
are there any cycle routes from caerphilly to pontyclun?
heads-up for the day
school next week.... erm... not much
tim.... whens ur party dude? people are saying different dates
catch ya l8rs
CRA
oh hey there, long time no see.... my god, you're all ugly...
ah well, plastic surgery cost a bomb so you are forgiven.. how the hell are you all?
i'll be honest...recently ive actually been busy and havnt had time to think about blogging. for this, a mortal sin, i shall probaby go to hell....but in the mean time i will maintain blogging about crap.
this in itself is just another lil' petit blog to tide the system over till i can manipulate my cells to conjure up some 'good shit' for you all to absorb like cocaine, leaving you feeling cold and desperate, yet exhilerated and buzzing for hours.... untill it runs out and you feel dirty and ashamed like that hooker i saw in cardiff one day.... my god, what a tramp. if anyone could think of a better use for Mr Muscle, it was on her face....
so basicly.... i'll start writing better blogs if you start cleaning the faces of inner-city prostitues with chemicals, originally designed for use on household surfaces.
thought for the day
im incredibly happy.... what about you?
question of the day
are there any cycle routes from caerphilly to pontyclun?
heads-up for the day
school next week.... erm... not much
tim.... whens ur party dude? people are saying different dates
catch ya l8rs
CRA
Friday, 23 October 2009
awkward anger
dear gawd
rawr....
you ever have that feeling where you've entered a situation you really shouldn't have.... wow, i've had that twice in one day.
the second time actually made me fairly confused and angry in a way, because i dont understand the reasons for awkwardness.... the first one being i'd met her nan for the first time and i shat a MA-hoo-SIVE brick..
the second was less obvious as to why it was awkward, but was only awkward from one perspective....this therefore confused me, and made me upset/angry....
fuck it, im talkin shit....again
but this is on my mind....has life moved on, or has it remained stagnant in some remote corner of existance? i certainly hope not....ffs like, im chuffed to bits with how things are right now....
kinda put a damper on a really awsome day....sods law
yours sincerly
mr bloody annoyed
Abertridwr,
Wales,
United Kingdom,
Earth.
ps....can you please bring back 'Fresh Prince..'?
rawr....
you ever have that feeling where you've entered a situation you really shouldn't have.... wow, i've had that twice in one day.
the second time actually made me fairly confused and angry in a way, because i dont understand the reasons for awkwardness.... the first one being i'd met her nan for the first time and i shat a MA-hoo-SIVE brick..
the second was less obvious as to why it was awkward, but was only awkward from one perspective....this therefore confused me, and made me upset/angry....
fuck it, im talkin shit....again
but this is on my mind....has life moved on, or has it remained stagnant in some remote corner of existance? i certainly hope not....ffs like, im chuffed to bits with how things are right now....
kinda put a damper on a really awsome day....sods law
yours sincerly
mr bloody annoyed
Abertridwr,
Wales,
United Kingdom,
Earth.
ps....can you please bring back 'Fresh Prince..'?
Tuesday, 20 October 2009
a little bit like your mum...
relief or extacy?
dudes and dudettes, how are we all on this fine crisp evening? ive been out and about wearing me 'smarts' to get a certificate from one of my many ventures this summer.
tonight, i wish to take a rest....but ive gora do this so bugger it.
and thats the theme of this escapade on this day. the difference between relief and extacy:
(this of course is one mans view of said topics, so if you dont like it....tough. get your own interperitation, and therefore point of view, you lazy bastard....coming round here, knicking my terms and phrazes, calling them your own, you plagaristic sods.... you cant even SPELL like me... how much of a copy-cat can you be.....!)
...as i was saying...
the two words may seem to display the same format of joy and happiness, but they go about them in two different ways.... for example:
(relief) you find out she ISNT pregnant (suprise su-friggin-prise)
(extacy) you realise that BECAUSE she isnt pregnant, you get to keep your bollocks...
following? good.
im sure as eggs is eggs, that you can find your own examples, after this marathon lesson....an education, of the differences between the two. now im sure you'll all agree that ive done my work for the night, so you'll let me off any more examples...... if not, fack off.
TFTD
so what do you think constitues a 'good' sandwich filling?
QFTD
got any more examples of the differences? think of this as homework...
HUFTD
the evil monstrosity hath returned once again....or more correctly, we return to IT.... school tomorrow poble
CRA XD
unfortunatly, there's not much we can do for him....he's just far too lazy to give a shit.... we hid the remote, and he looked for it instead of just walking the 3 feet to change the channel manually....
dudes and dudettes, how are we all on this fine crisp evening? ive been out and about wearing me 'smarts' to get a certificate from one of my many ventures this summer.
tonight, i wish to take a rest....but ive gora do this so bugger it.
and thats the theme of this escapade on this day. the difference between relief and extacy:
(this of course is one mans view of said topics, so if you dont like it....tough. get your own interperitation, and therefore point of view, you lazy bastard....coming round here, knicking my terms and phrazes, calling them your own, you plagaristic sods.... you cant even SPELL like me... how much of a copy-cat can you be.....!)
...as i was saying...
the two words may seem to display the same format of joy and happiness, but they go about them in two different ways.... for example:
(relief) you find out she ISNT pregnant (suprise su-friggin-prise)
(extacy) you realise that BECAUSE she isnt pregnant, you get to keep your bollocks...
following? good.
im sure as eggs is eggs, that you can find your own examples, after this marathon lesson....an education, of the differences between the two. now im sure you'll all agree that ive done my work for the night, so you'll let me off any more examples...... if not, fack off.
TFTD
so what do you think constitues a 'good' sandwich filling?
QFTD
got any more examples of the differences? think of this as homework...
HUFTD
the evil monstrosity hath returned once again....or more correctly, we return to IT.... school tomorrow poble
CRA XD
unfortunatly, there's not much we can do for him....he's just far too lazy to give a shit.... we hid the remote, and he looked for it instead of just walking the 3 feet to change the channel manually....
Sunday, 18 October 2009
an appology...of sorts
as you can probably tell, i am not the most dependable person in the world at the minute for writing blogs.... they have been few and far between, with some of them being very short and blunt. for this i appologise, but maintian the fact i have reasons for sparse blogging.....the top one of these:
wanking is SO much more fun....
so i suppose i should thank you all for returning to this travasty (that means 'transvestite' in french) of a blog, but im not going to, because secretly you all like the harsh abuse i give you by saying you're all arseholes....
not ALL of you are, but even if you're not, you enjoy it :P
ANYHOO....
today i wanted to talk to you very quickly about the differences between decades, with regards to music, in leymans terms.....
anything before the 1940's was very smooth and claming, because society deemed it so....
anything between 40's and 50's was smooth/swing..
anything 50's to 60's was when jazz, traditional pop, british blues, and british rock and roll, mixed with the early psycadelic stuff, took off....the british invasion had begun...
anything 60's and 70's was more of the same, with more direction to rock and roll, and then later, punk rock...also pop was still thriving, and some attention had been taken to reggae
anything 70's and 80's....teen pop....the god awfull sound of men with bad hair and synthesisers, appealing to the throbbing hearts of every horney school girl.... how they got rich i dont know, but it disgusts me..... oh and rock music went on to alternative rock to create some of the bands that we still know and love today like REM and U2.
anything 80's in general was that same genre, with america taking a lead on the shite singing, but britain still leading with the shite everything else...
anything 90's, appart from wanting to forget the whole decade, pop wise, was the rock genre of grunge.... rave, house and techno became popular in britain, while R'Nd'B and hip hop took off in america.
anything 00's, pretty much, rock remains popular, R'Nd'B arrives in the UK, dance music with electro-trance style mixes with rave, to bring that to fluition, pop recovers.....boy bands (saddly) dont die out completly... and asia gets in on the action, with pop from japan.
Thought for the Day
what do you think will be the 'Next Big Thing' in this country.....revival of old rock?
Question for the Day
which of the decades for music, do you think were the worst and why? personally, im going to say the 90's because there were so many 'one hit wonders' who we now look back on and think, 'my god, they are shocking...'
Heads-up for the Day
2 glorious mother-fucking days off, for those of us privaliged to be in st. Cenydd.....DO NOT GET UP TOMORROW, OR ELSE YOU ARE A DOUCHEBAG (unless you have something to do, in which case, all is forgiven....for now)
Question for the Day (part two)
dont shit yourselves, this does occasionally happen that i throw two questions at you.... this one is un-related.
is typing the way to continue these blogs, or would starting V-logs, be a way foreward? if you dont what a V-log is, it's a video blog.
Comment Rate Appreciate!!
the person you are trying to contact is unavailable to take your call....this could be because he is taking a dump and doesnt request the company of you whilst trying to squeeze one out....could be he simply does not give a shit.... please hang up and try again later.....much later
wanking is SO much more fun....
so i suppose i should thank you all for returning to this travasty (that means 'transvestite' in french) of a blog, but im not going to, because secretly you all like the harsh abuse i give you by saying you're all arseholes....
not ALL of you are, but even if you're not, you enjoy it :P
ANYHOO....
today i wanted to talk to you very quickly about the differences between decades, with regards to music, in leymans terms.....
anything before the 1940's was very smooth and claming, because society deemed it so....
anything between 40's and 50's was smooth/swing..
anything 50's to 60's was when jazz, traditional pop, british blues, and british rock and roll, mixed with the early psycadelic stuff, took off....the british invasion had begun...
anything 60's and 70's was more of the same, with more direction to rock and roll, and then later, punk rock...also pop was still thriving, and some attention had been taken to reggae
anything 70's and 80's....teen pop....the god awfull sound of men with bad hair and synthesisers, appealing to the throbbing hearts of every horney school girl.... how they got rich i dont know, but it disgusts me..... oh and rock music went on to alternative rock to create some of the bands that we still know and love today like REM and U2.
anything 80's in general was that same genre, with america taking a lead on the shite singing, but britain still leading with the shite everything else...
anything 90's, appart from wanting to forget the whole decade, pop wise, was the rock genre of grunge.... rave, house and techno became popular in britain, while R'Nd'B and hip hop took off in america.
anything 00's, pretty much, rock remains popular, R'Nd'B arrives in the UK, dance music with electro-trance style mixes with rave, to bring that to fluition, pop recovers.....boy bands (saddly) dont die out completly... and asia gets in on the action, with pop from japan.
Thought for the Day
what do you think will be the 'Next Big Thing' in this country.....revival of old rock?
Question for the Day
which of the decades for music, do you think were the worst and why? personally, im going to say the 90's because there were so many 'one hit wonders' who we now look back on and think, 'my god, they are shocking...'
Heads-up for the Day
2 glorious mother-fucking days off, for those of us privaliged to be in st. Cenydd.....DO NOT GET UP TOMORROW, OR ELSE YOU ARE A DOUCHEBAG (unless you have something to do, in which case, all is forgiven....for now)
Question for the Day (part two)
dont shit yourselves, this does occasionally happen that i throw two questions at you.... this one is un-related.
is typing the way to continue these blogs, or would starting V-logs, be a way foreward? if you dont what a V-log is, it's a video blog.
Comment Rate Appreciate!!
the person you are trying to contact is unavailable to take your call....this could be because he is taking a dump and doesnt request the company of you whilst trying to squeeze one out....could be he simply does not give a shit.... please hang up and try again later.....much later
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