in a vague attempt to return to the 'one every 2 days' rule:
the problem with religious leaders
i wanted to talk to you lot about something that has bamboozled me, perplexed me, and has followed my thoughts for at least 10.... minutes... or so.....give or take 9...
i just dont get it.....
i get the fact they are icons of a particular religion and all that jazz... i get it that they have been selected by their god, or gods..... but what i dont get...what i truly cant get my head around is...
whats the point?
i was always brought up to understand that god (in this case) was everywhere (the dirty bastard), and he was as contactable as a whore on a sex line...... never too busy, as long as you keep the faith and stay on the line long enough.
so my question, what is the point, is brought about by the fact that ANYONE can get hold of him/her/them/it....so whats the purpose of a leader, such as the pope? what possible value does he hold in religious society, appart from he was chosen by god to wear a hat that should have gone out in the charity bag......yes he leads, but why? dont people have enough self control by following the 'Almighty'?
apparently not..... they believe in some heavenly supernatural being, but put in charge someone who is all too human. what kind of person puts a human before their god?..... apparently, anyone who's catholic.....or has any kind of leader, be it parishiner, vicar, guru, iatola....et al.
question for the day
why do religious people, in your opinion do this? what do they achieve by having a 'middle-man'?
thought for the day
have you ever wondered what it would be like to go to the most wonderfull place on heaven and earth? to experience shear joy and jubilation?...... neither have i....which is why i want to go to the cadburys factory on a tour before the americans buy it :(
heads-up for the day
ino i said it was party time on friday, but unless you've been invited: if your names not down, you're not comin in..... soz for the false hope
and also its dans funeral on friday, 10:30 at st martins church......NO BLACK. red and white (for wales).
CRA BITCHEZ! :P
Tuesday, 8 September 2009
Sunday, 6 September 2009
the problem with.....part 8
bar myths
simply....most of them are bollocks.....plane and simple.
i think my favourite and most heared myth is that most humblest of any heavy drinker.... the myth that if you drink beer (or any alcoholic beverage for that matter), you get drunk easier.
lets just clear this up once and for all.....the only reason people get more drunk after drinking alcohol through a straw is beacause you actually DRINK MORE while testing the myth for an ounce of fact or truth....
simply, if you try it, you end up drinking more alcohol instead of less, as you planned, and you end up only taking in mouthfulls of tasty, tasty, cooling, froth, after every suck of the straw.
which is alright if you you like bubbles, but not alright if you just like getting bladdered..... for this i recommend shots:
tequilla slammer, and black zambooka....very nice
question for the day
whats the best alcoholic drink you've ever had? none of this bullshit, 'but i dont even know what alcohol is!'.....your innocent puppy face doesnt work with me bitch, speak up!
personally mine is MYTHOS....its greek....its a lager beer, and it is lush. wa bout you lot?
thought for the day
i will be on the road soon. i will have my own car, with my own insurance policy. i will be aiming to be free by at most, christmas......... no this isnt me boasting..... this is a public warning....
unlike when i went solo in gliding, i will be able to hit you without having to land/stop.... although this constitues a HEADS UP....i felt the need for thought was more applicable for the time being
you have been warned
heads-up for the day
2 for today: first, karens party is on friday...... alcohol, friends.... sounds like the night i got stacy pregn....
and secondly, im not available on sundays for the forseable future due to me having driving lessons, the first one being on sunday 13th september, and continuing till i either give up, crash, or pass..... the bets are being taken as to which of those 3 happens first
CRA (comment rate appreciate, for those of you just tuning in)
simply....most of them are bollocks.....plane and simple.
i think my favourite and most heared myth is that most humblest of any heavy drinker.... the myth that if you drink beer (or any alcoholic beverage for that matter), you get drunk easier.
lets just clear this up once and for all.....the only reason people get more drunk after drinking alcohol through a straw is beacause you actually DRINK MORE while testing the myth for an ounce of fact or truth....
simply, if you try it, you end up drinking more alcohol instead of less, as you planned, and you end up only taking in mouthfulls of tasty, tasty, cooling, froth, after every suck of the straw.
which is alright if you you like bubbles, but not alright if you just like getting bladdered..... for this i recommend shots:
tequilla slammer, and black zambooka....very nice
question for the day
whats the best alcoholic drink you've ever had? none of this bullshit, 'but i dont even know what alcohol is!'.....your innocent puppy face doesnt work with me bitch, speak up!
personally mine is MYTHOS....its greek....its a lager beer, and it is lush. wa bout you lot?
thought for the day
i will be on the road soon. i will have my own car, with my own insurance policy. i will be aiming to be free by at most, christmas......... no this isnt me boasting..... this is a public warning....
unlike when i went solo in gliding, i will be able to hit you without having to land/stop.... although this constitues a HEADS UP....i felt the need for thought was more applicable for the time being
you have been warned
heads-up for the day
2 for today: first, karens party is on friday...... alcohol, friends.... sounds like the night i got stacy pregn....
and secondly, im not available on sundays for the forseable future due to me having driving lessons, the first one being on sunday 13th september, and continuing till i either give up, crash, or pass..... the bets are being taken as to which of those 3 happens first
CRA (comment rate appreciate, for those of you just tuning in)
Wednesday, 2 September 2009
the problem with.....part 7
lighters and oldies:
is it me or is there nothing funnier than a 40-a-day, 90 year old woman, desperatly searching for a lighter so that she can smoke up in a place that is bound by law, not to let you smoke..... if you cant see the funny side to this, allow me to enlighten you...
(and before you allow a moral dilema to develope in your brain, just think....they cant be killing her too much: shes friggin 90 and on 40-a-day!)
firstly, just imagine this old lady wandering around aimlessly with a fixed expression of 'how did i get here?', as her dimentia sets in for another round of 'WHERE AM I'. cigarette carton in one hand, lighter in the other, as she goes around every table asking for a light, in the restaurant.... of course, they all see her holding this lighter, but decline to tell her because they dont want to see her embarased... ironicly making things far worse...
secondly, when she arrives back at the table (after some assistance, where she flirts outragously and loudly, to this poor guy who was just wrong place, wrong time..), she see's her ligher she'd been clutching for the best part of 20 minutes, stands up, and openly announces to the restaurant, 'ive found it, ive found it! put down your magic phones coz granny's got her arson tool'.
the restaurant, astounded -eyes transfixed upon this senile old bat-slowly return to their meals, as she sits and attempts to make this silver box work.
the third part is when she's sitting and playing with the lighter... its a silver one....the sterotypical 'mob' lighter....she flicks it open and starts turning the wheel. she's making sparks, but its just not lighting for some reason....she tries this about 10 times then starts eating.....then returns to piss about and piss us off for the next 20 minutes. when she does (somehow) get a flame to emerge, she takes a big lungfull of air, then blows it out, cheering afterwards...
the final part is when she's leaving. (its important to note at this point that i am sitting in the centre isle of the restaurant.....everyone coming or going has to pass behind my chair.)
she stands with purpose. she shouts to the room, 'i had a lovely meal....thank you mr chef '. she hugs the waiter, starts to walk out the door and then suddenly bends down to whisper in my ear and give me something... she then leaves.
its strange that i didnt fully comprehend what she'd said till i looked at what she'd given me:
it was the cigarette packet...and its contents was a single playing card.... the joker
what she'd said to me: 'its fun to act, sometimes'
suddenly it all made sense......this vision of the perfect batty old woman was in-fact blurred by her comic genious and superb timing. she was fantastic.
and all i could do was giggle to myself, with a smile that would make the cheshire cat blush.
question for the day
has anything like that ever happened to you? any embarasing moments you wish you could erase, or ..... are you waiting till you get to that age to mess around like she could, and get away with it?
thought for the day
if a tree falls in a wood and there's no-one around to hear it....does anyone care? i mean, who would even know if one had fallen if there's no-one around?!..... its a shit saying.....
heads-up for the day
yes folks, satan is having his annual ball again and inviting all your worst nightmares......so, heads up for school on friday....and good luck
see ya fools! XP
is it me or is there nothing funnier than a 40-a-day, 90 year old woman, desperatly searching for a lighter so that she can smoke up in a place that is bound by law, not to let you smoke..... if you cant see the funny side to this, allow me to enlighten you...
(and before you allow a moral dilema to develope in your brain, just think....they cant be killing her too much: shes friggin 90 and on 40-a-day!)
firstly, just imagine this old lady wandering around aimlessly with a fixed expression of 'how did i get here?', as her dimentia sets in for another round of 'WHERE AM I'. cigarette carton in one hand, lighter in the other, as she goes around every table asking for a light, in the restaurant.... of course, they all see her holding this lighter, but decline to tell her because they dont want to see her embarased... ironicly making things far worse...
secondly, when she arrives back at the table (after some assistance, where she flirts outragously and loudly, to this poor guy who was just wrong place, wrong time..), she see's her ligher she'd been clutching for the best part of 20 minutes, stands up, and openly announces to the restaurant, 'ive found it, ive found it! put down your magic phones coz granny's got her arson tool'.
the restaurant, astounded -eyes transfixed upon this senile old bat-slowly return to their meals, as she sits and attempts to make this silver box work.
the third part is when she's sitting and playing with the lighter... its a silver one....the sterotypical 'mob' lighter....she flicks it open and starts turning the wheel. she's making sparks, but its just not lighting for some reason....she tries this about 10 times then starts eating.....then returns to piss about and piss us off for the next 20 minutes. when she does (somehow) get a flame to emerge, she takes a big lungfull of air, then blows it out, cheering afterwards...
the final part is when she's leaving. (its important to note at this point that i am sitting in the centre isle of the restaurant.....everyone coming or going has to pass behind my chair.)
she stands with purpose. she shouts to the room, 'i had a lovely meal....thank you mr chef '. she hugs the waiter, starts to walk out the door and then suddenly bends down to whisper in my ear and give me something... she then leaves.
its strange that i didnt fully comprehend what she'd said till i looked at what she'd given me:
it was the cigarette packet...and its contents was a single playing card.... the joker
what she'd said to me: 'its fun to act, sometimes'
suddenly it all made sense......this vision of the perfect batty old woman was in-fact blurred by her comic genious and superb timing. she was fantastic.
and all i could do was giggle to myself, with a smile that would make the cheshire cat blush.
question for the day
has anything like that ever happened to you? any embarasing moments you wish you could erase, or ..... are you waiting till you get to that age to mess around like she could, and get away with it?
thought for the day
if a tree falls in a wood and there's no-one around to hear it....does anyone care? i mean, who would even know if one had fallen if there's no-one around?!..... its a shit saying.....
heads-up for the day
yes folks, satan is having his annual ball again and inviting all your worst nightmares......so, heads up for school on friday....and good luck
see ya fools! XP
Monday, 31 August 2009
the problem with.....part 6
life
the evil neccessity. the one thing that we all need, and we all hate. given in a second, and taken just as quickly.
we fight for life, we die for life. as stupid as it is illogical, the human race does many things to maintain or destroy it.
my life for example has been simple: i was born at a very young age, and since then, ive grown up and learnt stuff....now ive come to a philosophical understanding about what i want or what i need in life;
i only need 3 things....... food in my belly, a roof over my head, and some spare change in my back pocket for a rainny day. who could ask for more than that?
my HEADS-UP for the day goes to my next blog which is going to take on a new format, and going to be about lighters
see ya in two days, mo-fo's!
RIP dan
the evil neccessity. the one thing that we all need, and we all hate. given in a second, and taken just as quickly.
we fight for life, we die for life. as stupid as it is illogical, the human race does many things to maintain or destroy it.
my life for example has been simple: i was born at a very young age, and since then, ive grown up and learnt stuff....now ive come to a philosophical understanding about what i want or what i need in life;
i only need 3 things....... food in my belly, a roof over my head, and some spare change in my back pocket for a rainny day. who could ask for more than that?
my HEADS-UP for the day goes to my next blog which is going to take on a new format, and going to be about lighters
see ya in two days, mo-fo's!
RIP dan
Sunday, 30 August 2009
the problem with.....part 5
in a return to this series of things that either annoy me, make me think 'bugger', or just make everyone else go 'well thats something i dont give a toss about!'......welcome back
i hope you got a return coz i aint payin the bus fare....
to break us back into this obscene series again, i was going to talk about the problems of puberty...but quickly realised it could be summed up in one word.........
its SHIT.
so instead, im gona chat about something thats dear to me in so many ways... something i have always had an affection for... something that i dont think i COULD'nt write about:
the mexican football commentator!
or not......holiday romances (fitting as ive just got back from hols.........you didnt remember?......u son of a bitch.....)
holiday romances are defined as ones that you dont even consider taking home with you...if you do, then this is no longer a HOLIDAY romance (please try to keep up). there are certain priorities when selecting your potential romancer....
1) clean~~cant have fleas or any diseases that you can take home (the idea is you leave all the evidence with your key as you leave the hotel)
2) not a stalker~~ again, can track you down when you get home..... AVOID
3) not a heavy drinker (if you need liquour to help you)~~ if you end up under the table before she does, you have no control of your destination.... could be her room, could be your room, could be the floor you fell on, you stupid S.O.B.
so thats advice......what to do if you want to get them to notice you though?
well... firstly you could wait for them to make the first move (never works you pussy), or you could get things moving...
i have a younger brother....perfect. what you do is tell him to go and talk to the girl you like and get him to tell her that you like her.....when he's done this, acknowlage what he's done, and tell her you're sorry about him, then ask how she is....thus entering the first conversation: welcome to the world of oppertunities.....if you fuck it up from here, its YOUR fault and you should be locked away as an arse forever...or till your flight.
thats what works for me anyways :P
enjoy
thought for the day bitch!
whats goin on people, wher ya all to, wher ya all go....youv all buggerd off for a bit without me... im lonly :(
so where would you recommend going on holiday? thats the question. if you can give a reason with your answer, i wont think of you as a pompus ass, and it may actually help people, so be detailed if you can be arsed.
night night kiddies
i hope you got a return coz i aint payin the bus fare....
to break us back into this obscene series again, i was going to talk about the problems of puberty...but quickly realised it could be summed up in one word.........
its SHIT.
so instead, im gona chat about something thats dear to me in so many ways... something i have always had an affection for... something that i dont think i COULD'nt write about:
the mexican football commentator!
or not......holiday romances (fitting as ive just got back from hols.........you didnt remember?......u son of a bitch.....)
holiday romances are defined as ones that you dont even consider taking home with you...if you do, then this is no longer a HOLIDAY romance (please try to keep up). there are certain priorities when selecting your potential romancer....
1) clean~~cant have fleas or any diseases that you can take home (the idea is you leave all the evidence with your key as you leave the hotel)
2) not a stalker~~ again, can track you down when you get home..... AVOID
3) not a heavy drinker (if you need liquour to help you)~~ if you end up under the table before she does, you have no control of your destination.... could be her room, could be your room, could be the floor you fell on, you stupid S.O.B.
so thats advice......what to do if you want to get them to notice you though?
well... firstly you could wait for them to make the first move (never works you pussy), or you could get things moving...
i have a younger brother....perfect. what you do is tell him to go and talk to the girl you like and get him to tell her that you like her.....when he's done this, acknowlage what he's done, and tell her you're sorry about him, then ask how she is....thus entering the first conversation: welcome to the world of oppertunities.....if you fuck it up from here, its YOUR fault and you should be locked away as an arse forever...or till your flight.
thats what works for me anyways :P
enjoy
thought for the day bitch!
whats goin on people, wher ya all to, wher ya all go....youv all buggerd off for a bit without me... im lonly :(
so where would you recommend going on holiday? thats the question. if you can give a reason with your answer, i wont think of you as a pompus ass, and it may actually help people, so be detailed if you can be arsed.
night night kiddies
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)